IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The government pay tution fees for the university students. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#government #tution #fees #university #students
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The
government
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 paying
tuition
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fees
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 for university
students
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 is a policy that can significantly impact higher
education
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 and society at large.
Although
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 there are both positive and negative aspects of
this
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 practice, I believe that the benefits of
this
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 approach outweigh the drawbacks. On the positive side, providing free university
education
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 can increase access to higher
education
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 for
students
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 from all socioeconomic backgrounds. Many families cannot afford the high
tuition
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fees
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 charged by universities, and
government
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 funding enables their children to pursue academic studies that
otherwise
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 would be financially out of reach.
For instance
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, in countries like Germany and Norway, where public universities offer free or low-cost
education
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, the enrollment rates are higher, and
students
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 are more diverse in terms of socioeconomic status.
Additionally
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, a highly educated population translates into a more skilled workforce, which can contribute to economic growth and innovation. Another benefit is that
this
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 policy can reduce the burden of student debt. In many countries where higher
education
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 is costly,
students
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 often graduate with significant debt, which can limit their career choices and delay major life decisions like buying a home or starting a family. By eliminating
tuition
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fees
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, graduates can start their careers without the pressure of repaying student loans, leading to more equitable outcomes.
However
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, there are certain drawbacks. The main concern is that
government
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 funding can strain public resources, especially in developing nations that may struggle to provide basic public services. Investing heavily in
tuition
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fees
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 might lead to budget cuts in other critical areas like healthcare or infrastructure.
Furthermore
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, some critics argue that free
education
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 may lead to complacency among
students
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 who no longer have a financial stake in their
education
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, potentially resulting in lower academic performance. In conclusion,
although
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 funding university
tuition
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fees
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 entirely by the
government
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 presents challenges, it ultimately helps create a more equitable society by increasing access to higher
education
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 and reducing student debt. Governments should consider implementing
such
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 policies but
also
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 ensure that resources are used efficiently and that
students
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 remain motivated in their studies
Submitted by tahani.nr on

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Task Achievement
To further improve your score, try incorporating more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could include statistics, studies, or real-life case studies that demonstrate the impact of government-funded education on students and the economy.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is well-structured, using varied transitional phrases can enhance the flow between sections.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, effectively framing your essay's argument.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt, providing a balanced view on the topic and concluding with a clear opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay maintains good logical structure, guiding the reader through your points convincingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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