The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal the health-related issues. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the education curriculum. To what extent you agree or disagree?

The increase
of
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in
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obese people is putting
a
Remove the article
apply
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pressure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospitals in an effort to resolve the diseases
Correct your spelling
related
realted
Correct your spelling
related
with
Change preposition
to
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it. Some citizens think that the optimal way to resolve
this
hurdle is to incorporate more physical
education
classes in the
education
system.
This
essay strongly agrees with
this
statement because children spend a lot of
time
at
school
that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should
be use
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be used
show examples
to
practice
physical activities at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age and teenagers tend to obey more to their teachers
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
at home.
Firstly
, teenagers spend
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
amount of
time
at
school
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it is a great opportunity to
practice
every single day physical
Correct your spelling
activities
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
to help them to burn fat.
Secondly
, if
students
practice
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
Correct your spelling
activities
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
five times per
an
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apply
show examples
hour during a
Correct your spelling
week
weeek
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week
,
this
could help them to start getting
accostum
Correct your spelling
accustom
accosted
to
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
sports
.
Also
, they might see physical
education
as part of the
school
curriculum and
this
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to continue these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities.
For instance
, in The United States, California, starting middle
school
, children
practice
physical
education
or P.E. every single day for an hour to help them feel healthier and reduce weight.
This
has helped
students
to reduce the statistic of
Add a missing verb
being
show examples
overweight
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Another reason why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
should support children to reduce weight is that minors tend to obey more their teachers than their
parents
because at
this
age some of them feel confused and frustrated.
In addition
to
this
is that many
students
have
conflict
Add an article
a conflict
show examples
with their
parents
and many of them avoid
to talk
Change the verb form
talking
show examples
to them, so
this
situation
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not help to find the right
time
to
practice
some
sports
.
Moreover
, many
parents
have two
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
jobs
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
by the
time
they get home, they just want to take a rest. As result, if
schools
support
students
to
practice
some type of activities at
school
, they will follow
teacher's
Correct article usage
the teacher's
show examples
command and these teens might continue in the future
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
some type of
sports
. To illustrate
this
, in California, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults suffer from
obese
Replace the word
obesity
show examples
because twenty years ago,
schools
did not pay attention
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the importance of
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
physical activity, and
this
lead
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led
show examples
that many adults dislike
to play
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playing
show examples
sports
.
As a result
, hospitals are paying attention to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facts and strongly believe that the best way to approach
this
issue is by implementing more physical
education
lessons at
school
. To conclude, in order to reduce the number of obese people,
schools
should include more physical
education
classes as part of their curriculum, and teach
students
the importance of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
some type of
sports
because they listen better to teachers than their
Correct your spelling
parents
parets
Correct your spelling
peers
.
This
will help to avoid putting a strain on the health system.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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