The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal the health-related issues. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the education curriculum. To what extent you agree or disagree?

The increase

of

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in

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obese people is putting

a

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apply

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pressure on

the

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apply

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hospitals in an effort to resolve the diseases

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related

realted

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related

with

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to

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it. Some citizens think that the optimal way to resolve

this

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hurdle is to incorporate more physical

education

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classes in the

education

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system.

This

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essay strongly agrees with

this

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statement because children spend a lot of

time

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at

school

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that

Correct word choice

so

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it

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should

be use

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be used

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to

practice

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physical activities at

early

Add an article

an early

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age and teenagers tend to obey more to their teachers

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

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parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

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at home.

Firstly

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, teenagers spend

great

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a great

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amount of

time

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at

school

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that

Correct word choice

and

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it is a great opportunity to

practice

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every single day physical

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activities

activites

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activities

to help them to burn fat.

Secondly

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, if

students

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practice

Use synonyms

a

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical

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activities

acitivities

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activities

five times per

an

Correct article usage

apply

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hour during a

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week

weeek

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week

,

this

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could help them to start getting

accostum

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accustom

accosted

to

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practice

Wrong verb form

practising

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sports

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.

Also

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, they might see physical

education

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as part of the

school

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curriculum and

this

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help

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helps

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them to continue these

sport

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sports

show examples

activities.

For instance

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, in The United States, California, starting middle

school

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, children

practice

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physical

education

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or P.E. every single day for an hour to help them feel healthier and reduce weight.

This

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has helped

students

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to reduce the statistic of

Add a missing verb

being

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overweight

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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. Another reason why

the

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apply

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schools

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should support children to reduce weight is that minors tend to obey more their teachers than their

parents

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because at

this

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age some of them feel confused and frustrated.

In addition

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to

this

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is that many

students

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have

conflict

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a conflict

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with their

parents

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and many of them avoid

to talk

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talking

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to them, so

this

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situation

do

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does

show examples

not help to find the right

time

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to

practice

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some

sports

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.

Moreover

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, many

parents

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have two

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

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time

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jobs

that

Correct word choice

and

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by the

time

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they get home, they just want to take a rest. As result, if

schools

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support

students

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to

practice

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some type of activities at

school

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, they will follow

teacher's

Correct article usage

the teacher's

show examples

command and these teens might continue in the future

practicing

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practising

show examples

some type of

sports

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. To illustrate

this

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, in California, most

of

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apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young adults suffer from

obese

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obesity

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because twenty years ago,

schools

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did not pay attention

of

Change preposition

to

show examples

the importance of

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

physical activity, and

this

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lead

Replace the word

led

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that many adults dislike

to play

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playing

show examples

sports

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.

As a result

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, hospitals are paying attention to

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

facts and strongly believe that the best way to approach

this

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issue is by implementing more physical

education

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lessons at

school

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. To conclude, in order to reduce the number of obese people,

schools

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should include more physical

education

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classes as part of their curriculum, and teach

students

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the importance of

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

some type of

sports

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because they listen better to teachers than their

Correct your spelling

parents

parets

Correct your spelling

peers

.

This

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will help to avoid putting a strain on the health system.