In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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Nowadays, In many countries, individuals have

this

opportunity to live more than before.

Although

older

people

could be a benefit for their

workplace

, they create a great cost for governments, in my opinion, far outweigh any possible advantages. On the positive side, elder

people

can add value to the

workplace

, particularly with their experience. Their unique perspective can solve a lot of problems that the young generation could not imagine .

Therefore

, they can be beneficial for their team members to cope with the challenges they face.

However

, old

people

can not work at the same speed as young ones, so, they can be a burden to their company. Despite the fact that older

people

can be helpful in the

workplace

with their knowledge, with advancing technology and artificial intelligence companies can solve problems easily and they can replace older's individual's knowledge with AI.

conversely

, an ageing population places significant strain on healthcare systems. With ageing,

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body needs a lot of care to maintain, and

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

care

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

on many costs. Governments,

on the other hand

, have few resources to spend on the health section and they should have an eye on other sections of society.

Furthermore

, when governments pay money to elderly

people

all of society should work more to earn

this

money.

Consequently

, the

overall

quality of life in a country may decline with

this

pressure on the healthcare system.

To sum up

while

older

people

can be a help in solving problems in the

workplace

, I believe that the burden they place on the government and the healthcare system outweighs

this

advantage because the need to prepare funds for their care can be a big challenge for the whole society.

Submitted by mehdikarimi0811 on Tue Apr 30 2024

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Introduction and Conclusion

Good use of introduction and conclusion to frame your argument.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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