Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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De¬¬velopment
Correct your spelling
Development
of the Internet is increasingly fast.
This
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will make school
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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no longer necessary because
children
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can stay at
home
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but still get the lessons. In my opinion, I disagree with that thing. There are some why
children
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can stay at
home
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to
study
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.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, with the development of technology,
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
on the Internet are more various and helpful. Documents, lessons, etc.. are available on the Internet so that
children
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can easily access and learn. Programs on the Youtube, many apps and more devices appear in a smartphone, Ipad,… That
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
home
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is used in some families.
Besides
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the benefits, it still
exist
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exists
show examples
some drawbacks that influence
on
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apply
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children
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when they
study
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at
home
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.
Firstly
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, when parents are not watching their
children
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study
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; they will never
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know
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no
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know
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that
children
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are playing games,… and neglect from the lessons.
This
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have
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has
show examples
a big problem,
children
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will lose the knowledge, which
necessary
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is necessary
show examples
in life,
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. Make
children
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dependent on their
phone
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phones
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and
this
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very
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is very
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serious.
In addition
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,
this
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led to
issue
Wrong verb form
issues
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about
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with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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eyesight too,
make
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making
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children
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have some eye diseases. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
home
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result
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results
show examples
in good value and great
Correct your spelling
information
informantions
Correct your spelling
information
, it still
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
users, especially
children
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a lot of toxic benefits.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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