Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

De¬¬velopment
Correct your spelling
Development
of the Internet is increasingly fast.
This
will make school
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no longer necessary because
children
can stay at
home
but still get the lessons. In my opinion, I disagree with that thing. There are some why
children
can stay at
home
to
study
.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, with the development of technology,
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
on the Internet are more various and helpful. Documents, lessons, etc.. are available on the Internet so that
children
can easily access and learn. Programs on the Youtube, many apps and more devices appear in a smartphone, Ipad,… That
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
home
is used in some families.
Besides
the benefits, it still
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
some drawbacks that influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
when they
study
at
home
.
Firstly
, when parents are not watching their
children
study
; they will never
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
that
children
are playing games,… and neglect from the lessons.
This
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a big problem,
children
will lose the knowledge, which
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
show examples
in life,
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. Make
children
dependent on their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
this
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
serious.
In addition
,
this
led to
issue
Wrong verb form
issues
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eyesight too,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
children
have some eye diseases. In conclusion,
although
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
at
home
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
in good value and great
Correct your spelling
information
informantions
Correct your spelling
information
, it still
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
users, especially
children
a lot of toxic benefits.
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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