IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sport team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to company in your letter -describe the benefit of sponsoring the sport team -summarise the benefits of paying the concepts -say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sport #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #-describe #benefit #-summarise #concepts #-say
Dear Sir or Madam,  I hope you are doing well. I have heard from our community that your company will invest in our living area, either by sponsoring the
sports
 team or the music concerts . I will give you my opinion on both of them. 
To begin
 with, I would suggest that there are many benefits to sponsoring the
sports
 team. The children can be healthier in both mental and physical health by playing
sports
, and it will be a big help to move them away from any bad activities. 
On the other hand
, music is the best way to reduce stress and can bring people from different regions and backgrounds close together. it can make people happier and more motivated. 
However
, I think we should spend the money on the children's
sports
 team because the younger generation plays an important role in society, so we need to ensure that they will have the best opportunity to develop both mental and physical health.  I hope you consider my perspective Should you have any concerns regarding my letter, please let me know.  Yours faithfully,  Joy Kim
Submitted by trieuminhh2000 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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