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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Information
 sharing plays a vital role in scientific
research
, business and the academic world.
However
, some believe that some kind of knowledge is too private to share,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would agree with those who argue that sharing as much as you can is important.
First
, it is crucial to consider how
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 the protection of personal
data
 has, especially in today’s world.
This
 is because every single day people face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of hacking issues including personal
data
 stealing and sharing
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
without any permission on the internet.
For example
, if we inform people about our business strategies which are unique to our company for the sake of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research
, we are more likely to see that specific
information
 on the internet
sharing
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 freely with the world without our consent and because of
this
 violation, our business can be jeopardized.
However
, I believe that sharing a considerable amount of
information
 freely will presumably be useful for the contribution to the academic literature.
This
 is because more specific
data
 means more exact
research
 results.
In other words
, If we have an extended
data
 set as a researcher, our
research
 results would be more valid for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academics.
As a result
 of
this
, the
research
 that we conduct will be more likely to come up with new ideas and can be enlightening for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other researchers.
Conversely
, if people hesitate about
this
 issue and share less, much of the
research
 would not inform us truly. Overall,
although
 it is of critical importance that we need to protect our valuable
information
 for our privacy purposes, I feel that for the sake of accurate scientific
research
 we should provide as much as we can.
Submitted by sevvallpolatt on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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