Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth that for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, famous people show their glamorous life with lots of money, expensive cars, and huge houses

instead

Linking Words

of showing how to accomplish a goal and get rich in the real world.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, it could be worse for minors to follow the celebrity and think that they have attained riches using Instagram or other platforms. In my opinion, I totally agree that it could affect negatively for young generation.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will be discussed the agreement with the topic.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, young people could think that money could be gotten only via professions

such

Linking Words

as blogging, streaming, and so on.

In addition

Linking Words

, there is no need to try to become a straight-A student, earn a scholarship, and finish the university of your dream. So, they would think that occupations like software engineering and other important majors would not be as highly paid as vlogging. Whereas, real majors could bring a huge amount of money and a multitude of possibilities.

For example

Linking Words

, programmers earn one hundred thousand dollars per year on average

in addition

Linking Words

to good insurance, stocks, and gym coverage.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a blogger could show a life he does not live at all via collaborations and the support of other bloggers. Nowadays, we follow a multitude of bloggers who spend time as millionaires.

In addition

Linking Words

, they could publish some interesting stories that do not belong to them.

For instance

Linking Words

, a vlogger has seen that someone had made a gift to a friend.

Thus

Linking Words

, she took some photos with the gift and published them in spite of the surprise was not made to her. To conclude, individuals, especially youth, believe the people they are subscribed to.

Consequently

Linking Words

, Instagram and other social media usually share a colourful part of life, children have to filter the information they are consuming.

Also

Linking Words

, they should not think that the goal could be accomplished without challenges.

Submitted by Allazhar on Sun Oct 30 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The development of cooperative skills in children is often seen as crucial for their future success and social integration. One popular method for fostering these skills is through participation in team sports at school. While I agree that team sports play an essential role in teaching children to cooperate, I believe that it is not the only method, and other approaches can also be highly effective.
5
band
write a letter to restaurant that you had dinner last night
I am writing this letter to do thanks for the wonderful service that I got last night on my birthday party . I want to special thanks to head cheaf for the delicious dinner .
5.5
band
Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analyse the two sides of this argument.
In today's rapidly evolving digital landscape, the integration of technology into education has become increasingly pervasive. The contentious debate surrounding the potential substitution of classroom teachers with technology has garnered significant attention, with proponents and detractors presenting compelling arguments. This essay aims to explore the multifaceted nature of this debate, considering a diverse range of perspectives and providing relevant examples to support each viewpoint.
6.5
band
Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In today's globalized world, the prospect of sending children to study abroad sparks a debate among parents regarding its benefits and potential challenges. While some advocate for the numerous advantages associated with international education, others express concerns about the potential adversities their children might encounter. Both perspectives warrant consideration, and after examining both sides, I strongly believe that the benefits far outweigh the challenges.
5.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case ? What can be done about this problem ?
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth that for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

write a letter to restaurant that you had dinner last night

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analyse the two sides of this argument.

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case ? What can be done about this problem ?