IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children's education than were parents in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#parents #children #education #support
One of the
parents
' main concerns is their
children
's
education
.
However
, I consider that over the years,
parents
 have been more
absenced
Correct your spelling
absence
absences
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their
kids
'
education
. I have these feelings for two reasons that I will explain in detail below. The
first
 point I would like to make is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
woman
Change noun form
woman's
show examples
 role has changed. It has been a shift from
stay at home
Add a hyphen
stay-at-home
show examples
mothers
 to working
mothers
. Before, women had more
time
 to dedicate to their
children
's
education
. Nowadays,
mothers
 get home tired and do not have much
time
 to
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 in their
kids
' school.
For instance
, in my case, when I was a kid, my mother worked full
time
. She used to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 too much
time
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 her job and get home late. Because of her lack of free
time
, she didn't pay too much
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my school grades.
On the other hand
, my
grandomther
Correct your spelling
grandmother
 didn't work any
time
 of her life. So, she used to
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 in her
children
's
education
 by going to talk to the teachers, following the activities and asking
her
Change preposition
about her
show examples
kids
' grades. The
second
 thought I would like to point out is that
parents
 give more hours to their own
education
 over the years.
This
 happens because the world is getting more
Correct your spelling
competitive
competive
Correct your spelling
competitive
.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, it is not enough
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 lots of
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 experience. To get a promotion, part of the companies'
Correct your spelling
requirements
requeriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
 is to be updated.
For example
, my uncle wanted to earn more money to give to his family. So, he worked harder for a promotion.
However
, he needed to have a post-graduate degree to achieve a promotion. He studied
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree for two
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. During
this
time
, he was not present in his
children
's lives. In conclusion, I think
parents
 are not as
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
 as before in their
children
's
education
. As I mentioned before, nowadays,
mothers
 work
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 hours and don't have much
time
 to care
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
kids'
Change noun form
kids
show examples
school
Change preposition
at school
show examples
.
Also
,
parents
 are focusing on their own educational growth.
Submitted by keylas999 on

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