IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is highly debatable that younger people should be mandatorily involved in non-paying
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 during their holiday or convenient time. I totally agree with the given statement above which I will explain with the example. By participating in
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
, It makes the younger generation more responsible for the reason that they're going to learn
differently
Change the adverb
different
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things
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning up the streets or joining up in charity events which
involved
Wrong verb form
involve
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 feeding
children
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 in orphanages.
For instance
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 in Canada
Parent's
Change noun form
Parent
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 always
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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 their
children
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 to participate in various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of events especially if it's promoting
conserving
Replace the word
the conservation
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 of Nature.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 promotes a better relationship with their fellow teenager as they build camaraderie through the
community
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service
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 they
participated
Wrong verb form
participate
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with
Change preposition
in
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.
In addition
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 to ,that it
also
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 increases their confidence to do certain tasks which they can carry on even
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own home.
For instance
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 in ,Japan they're actually exposing young
children
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 in primary school to do household chores or even
tour
Wrong verb form
touring
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 the
children
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 in some restaurants for them to experience how to work in that kind of environment,
This
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 is good because at a young
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
 they know what it feels like being responsible and obedient to their parents.
Furthermore
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, being always present in
community
Use synonyms
service
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 makes a teenager
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 their time management
skills
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 and a lot
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
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 the most significant things that make them a better version of themselves
as well as
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 enhance their
skills
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 not just technical
skills
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 but
also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
logical thinking ability. In conclusion, It is shown that being involved in
community
Use synonyms
service
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 makes the younger generation discover their
skills
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 and know
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
 more and
also
Linking Words
 spend their time on the most important things and be more beneficial to the
community
Use synonyms
.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • real-world issues
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • networks
  • constructive
  • detrimental activities
  • college applications
  • job resumes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: