Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
Many claim that
museums
should be Use synonyms
amusement
Use synonyms
places
for Use synonyms
people
, Use synonyms
whereas
others opine that Linking Words
museums
are built for educational purposes. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
museums
are the Use synonyms
places
for countries histories, in my opinion, without some entertainment facilities they will be boring for Use synonyms
people
.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
museums
are constructed to give Use synonyms
people
some information about Use synonyms
history
which can be boring without being enjoyable Use synonyms
places
to amuse communities. First of all, many Use synonyms
people
go there in their leisure time and spend time with their families or friends. So if Use synonyms
museums
are not fascinating for Use synonyms
people
, they will not go there anymore. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
museums
should absorb audiences in some different simple ways. Use synonyms
For instance
, a tour guide to express information to visitors can be interesting, establishing many entertainment facilities like some shopping, restaurants, and coffee shops or children's parks. On the other, many Linking Words
museums
are located near Use synonyms
amusement
parks to grab Use synonyms
people
’s attention. Use synonyms
For example
, Some bonuses or discounts on Linking Words
amusement
park tickets are given to those who visit the museum to attract more visitors which is held in some European countries like the UK, Spain and so on.
Use synonyms
However
, many opine that Linking Words
museums
are built for educational purposes. Many students and artists go there on tours in schools or universities to gain some information about the Use synonyms
history
. , if the museum is an enjoyable place for all range of ages, no one will concentrate on the main aim of the museum which is education. Use synonyms
Secondly
, they are packed with all types of Linking Words
people
which is not appropriate for children and students. Use synonyms
For example
, many drug dealers will go to Linking Words
museums
to sell their products to students because they know that they can find all types of Use synonyms
people
there. But, if Use synonyms
museums
are not entertaining Use synonyms
places
for visitors, nobody will go there because all Use synonyms
people
know Use synonyms
history
is monotone for learning. As it is observed, Use synonyms
people
hardly ever go there normally, so it is better to make them amusing.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
learning Linking Words
history
in Use synonyms
museums
might be boring for all communities, in some simple ways we can show them visiting is worth it. I wish the government invested more money to replace Use synonyms
museums
with the next Use synonyms
amusement
parks.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's logical structure, try to maintain a more distinct separation between your paragraphs, ensuring that each one addresses a specific point related to your argument. This would help in making your essay more organized and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To further support your main points, it's essential to provide more detailed examples and evidence. By incorporating specific instances or case studies, you can strengthen your argument and make your claims more persuasive.
task achievement
A complete response to the IELTS essay question not only discusses both views but also clearly states your own opinion. You've done this, but to improve, aim to integrate your opinion throughout your discussion, rather than only at the beginning and end. This will make your stance more prominent.
task achievement
To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, consider simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of the topic. Avoid overgeneralizations and strive for clarity in your arguments.
task achievement
To better illustrate your points, incorporate more varied and specific examples that directly relate to your argument. While you provided some examples, more detailed and diverse instances can enrich your essay and make your arguments more convincing.