Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
Many claim that
museums
should be amusement
places
for people
, whereas
others opine that museums
are built for educational purposes. Although
museums
are the places
for countries histories, in my opinion, without some entertainment facilities they will be boring for people
.
On the one hand, museums
are constructed to give people
some information about history
which can be boring without being enjoyable places
to amuse communities. First of all, many people
go there in their leisure time and spend time with their families or friends. So if museums
are not fascinating for people
, they will not go there anymore. In addition
, museums
should absorb audiences in some different simple ways. For instance
, a tour guide to express information to visitors can be interesting, establishing many entertainment facilities like some shopping, restaurants, and coffee shops or children's parks. On the other, many museums
are located near amusement
parks to grab people
’s attention. For example
, Some bonuses or discounts on amusement
park tickets are given to those who visit the museum to attract more visitors which is held in some European countries like the UK, Spain and so on.
However
, many opine that museums
are built for educational purposes. Many students and artists go there on tours in schools or universities to gain some information about the history
. , if the museum is an enjoyable place for all range of ages, no one will concentrate on the main aim of the museum which is education. Secondly
, they are packed with all types of people
which is not appropriate for children and students. For example
, many drug dealers will go to museums
to sell their products to students because they know that they can find all types of people
there. But, if museums
are not entertaining places
for visitors, nobody will go there because all people
know history
is monotone for learning. As it is observed, people
hardly ever go there normally, so it is better to make them amusing.
In conclusion, although
learning history
in museums
might be boring for all communities, in some simple ways we can show them visiting is worth it. I wish the government invested more money to replace museums
with the next amusement
parks.Submitted by dayansabet on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's logical structure, try to maintain a more distinct separation between your paragraphs, ensuring that each one addresses a specific point related to your argument. This would help in making your essay more organized and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
To further support your main points, it's essential to provide more detailed examples and evidence. By incorporating specific instances or case studies, you can strengthen your argument and make your claims more persuasive.
task achievement
A complete response to the IELTS essay question not only discusses both views but also clearly states your own opinion. You've done this, but to improve, aim to integrate your opinion throughout your discussion, rather than only at the beginning and end. This will make your stance more prominent.
task achievement
To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, consider simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of the topic. Avoid overgeneralizations and strive for clarity in your arguments.
task achievement
To better illustrate your points, incorporate more varied and specific examples that directly relate to your argument. While you provided some examples, more detailed and diverse instances can enrich your essay and make your arguments more convincing.