IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more people today are becoming overly dependent on the internet and phones. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phones #development
Unquestionably, every coin has two sides so have the
people
. Society's crowd are divided into two groups and
therefore
 dependency on phones and the
internet
 has become a topic of debate among the nation.
This
 essay will compare and contrast both positive and negative development along with my opinion which is in the favour of former view will be discussed with a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the
first
 school of thought,
firstly
 with the application of the
internet
 and ,smartphones it is easy and convenient to connect with friends and family without any geographical barriers. The
people
 who support
this
 say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 twenty years back it was impossible to connect to close ones within a fraction of a minute.
Secondly
, there is vast information available on a tip of the finger because of the
internet
.
For instance
, to complete the school project one can do research on websites and find plenty of information to finish it within a week. In fact, on ,smartphones there is a number of applications available using that person can launch a business and can create a secondary income source to improve economic conditions. On the contrasting side,
people
 who held another viewpoint say that due to the increase in facetime applications, real-time interaction is decreasing. Many youngsters are preferring spending time chatting with friends on Messenger rather than spending quality time with each other. So, there is deprivation in social face-to-face interaction between peers. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 huge information is getting easier on the
internet
 without giving a
second
 thought children are following that. Sometimes, it can mislead them and they will end up pursuing the wrong habits. To conclude, I would like to say that, with brighter mind usage of phones and the
internet
 is beneficial while excessive dependency both will show a negative impact on society.
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of the
people
 and which view they are in the favour of.
Submitted by ppudhav.3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: