Write about the following topic. The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People
believed
music
is a fundamental factor in their lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the most prominent factor that helps humans is to reduce
stress
through listening to songs or instrumental
music
, but some opponents claim that
this
is distracting and disturbing. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
I agree that
music
reduces our
stress
and my point of view about
this
statement will be adequately discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, from the ancient era
people
held different views about listening to songs. Humans used harmonious sounds to relax their hormones,
evidently
Add a comma
,evidently
show examples
this
type of hormone is called endorphins which are stored in moods of singing and happiness
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
this
will reduce
Add an article
the
show examples
stress
of
people
. As an example, one of my friends always listens to
music
, which she tells us that it helps her to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
stress
she is going through, especially while she is at work she used to listen to songs over and over again to keep her warm up throughout the day.
Therefore
music
is one of the best ways to relieve your
stress
.
On the other hand
, listening to
music
is one of therapy for
people
, specifically for
people
who are working in a stressful environment
such
as doctors and teachers. As an example, doctors play
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enormous role, during an operation inside the theatre some doctors ask to play
music
to deprive themselves of the stressful situation they are going through.
In other words
, to conclude I strongly agree that
music
is the most common way to combat
stress
because it releases a certain kind of hormone to relax
people
and is used as a therapy.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: