Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is widely known that in many developed countries, nowadays, longevity has increased largely, and
this
is something that we all should aim to achieve and be happy about.
Furthermore
, in my opinion, the age for retirement should not be increased for two main reasons which will be outlined in
this
essay.
Firstly
, the stressful lifestyle that all
people
are currently living, has led to the conclusion for many of them that the sooner they retire from their work, the better. As it is for most countries, you need to work for more than 30 years and even more, before you are eligible for a pension.
At the end
of their career, the main inspiration that all workers have is retirement, which seems closer day by day. Supposing the governments decide to raise the years required, how will those
people
be affected by
this
decision? In my view,
this
could cause a lot of mental problems,
such
as depression, owing to the fact of how desperate some humans are to terminate their active work-life with dignity and respect.
Therefore
, individuals themselves have to make the choice if they want to continue working after the already established limits.
In addition
, we should not focus on exploiting human resources till the
last
drop and we must pay attention to the young
people
’s development, so I think, old
people
deserve to have more time after they become pensioners, so they
finally
get the chance to spend more time with their families and loved ones.
Secondly
, raising the age for the old workers, in my opinion, blocks the opportunities for the youngsters to improve and develop their full potential.
For instance
, in various professions, young
people
are stacked for years before they can grow up with their careers as there is no room left for them to improve. A typical example of the statement above is the healthcare sector, where young doctors are waiting for decades before some of the professors retire, so they can start their real practice.
Although
the experience of some well-trained employees is considered irreplaceable, it is of crucial importance that the juniors are given the chance to shine, so cherishing the rich expertise of the old ones is something that all different companies should include in their work policy. In conclusion, the age for retirement should not be elevated, so young working
people
are
let
Verb problem
allowed
show examples
to develop their abilities and achieve their success in a more straightforward way.
Submitted by dimitrovkonstantin92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address the question directly and stay focused on the topic. Your response should fully cover the prompt given and express a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure overall, but pay attention to the introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly present the main points of your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: