IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that robots are important for humans to develop while others think that it is a dangerous invention that will impact society negatively.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent decades,
technology
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such
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 as manufacturing
robots
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 and developing AI(Artificial intelligence) has brought many significant improvements to our lives. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the
overall
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 effect of
this
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technology
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, producing
robots
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, has been positive or negative.
While
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 some people suggest that it will influence negatively society, I personally believe that the positive outcome of
robots
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 far outweighs its drawbacks. In my opinion, the production of automatons is the most sophisticated discovery that will make a huge growth in human beings. The dominant manufacturing companies
such
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 as those producing vehicles and some restaurants in the world are utilizing
robots
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 at every stage of the operation, and
this
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 is not only a great economic improvement, but it is becoming possible to operate in large quantities. Increasing the
technology
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 of bots, the activities of humans in factories can be easier and safer than in the past time. One of many examples is the decrease in disability and death
due to
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 industrial accidents in giant factories.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt that
robots
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 may have the potential to generate a negative impact on us. For one thing, it may cause rising unemployment because manpower will be replaced by automatic machines in the workplace, which are not cost-effective but require more energy.
However
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,
this
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 invention is not possible to occupy all the professionals, including doctors, nurses, and teachers, and the human resources policy of the countries can be regulated within the law in the future. In conclusion, I suppose that robotic
technology
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 is essential for the future development of the earth. Despite of drawbacks, we ought to continue to develop high-tech industries, that are more effective and defended for us.

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task response
Ensure each body paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with specific examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Make certain that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear position and summarizing the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using cohesive devices effectively and creating clear, well-organized paragraphs.
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