You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open until midnight. Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter, • complain about the situation • say why this is a problem • and propose ways to reduce the noise

#university #residence #levels #noise #campus #restaurant #midnight #governor #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

to express my annoyance with the noise that comes from the new campus

restaurant

which stays open until midnight. I live right next to the

restaurant

and at times, it becomes troublesome because the

restaurant

is always crowded with students and the music they play is always loud,

thus

it gets very noisy. I am a medical student, and my exams are around the corner. I really need to focus on my studies, or I am afraid I will not be able to achieve

desired

Correct article usage

the desired

show examples

grades

this

semester.

Also

, I am not a local resident,

therefore

I don’t have any other place to go for studies. And some of my classmates who often study together are really having a hard time dealing with

this

situation. I would like to request you to take appropriate action to help us overcome

this

problem. I would recommend putting restrictions on

Correct article usage

the

show examples

number of students that can visit at the same time, and

also

ask the

restaurant

to keep the music system’s volume down. Hoping to hear from you soon on

this

. Yours faithfully, May Brown

Submitted by jeeanay on Sun Dec 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the letter is structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Logical progression should be clearly marked with appropriate paragraphing.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are functional but could be more in line with formal letter-writing conventions. Choose a more appropriate sign-off for formal complaints.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single issue or part of the overall concern. Blend related ideas smoothly into one paragraph.

task achievement

While the letter addresses the task prompt, to reach a higher score, ensure all aspects are equally developed. Elaborate on proposed solutions with more specific details.

task achievement

Maintain a consistently formal tone throughout the letter appropriate for addressing a university governor. Avoid colloquial expressions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

190 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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