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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open until midnight. Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter, • complain about the situation • say why this is a problem • and propose ways to reduce the noise

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 to express my annoyance with the noise that comes from the new campus
restaurant
 which stays open until midnight. I live right next to the
restaurant
 and at times, it becomes troublesome because the
restaurant
 is always crowded with students and the music they play is always loud,
thus
 it gets very noisy. I am a medical student, and my exams are around the corner. I really need to focus on my studies, or I am afraid I will not be able to achieve
desired
Correct article usage
the desired
show examples
 grades
this
 semester.
Also
, I am not a local resident,
therefore
 I don’t have any other place to go for studies. And some of my classmates who often study together are really having a hard time dealing with
this
 situation. I would like to request you to take appropriate action to help us overcome
this
 problem. I would recommend putting restrictions on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of students that can visit at the same time, and
also
 ask the
restaurant
 to keep the music system’s volume down. Hoping to hear from you soon on
this
. Yours faithfully, May Brown
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter is structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Logical progression should be clearly marked with appropriate paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are functional but could be more in line with formal letter-writing conventions. Choose a more appropriate sign-off for formal complaints.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single issue or part of the overall concern. Blend related ideas smoothly into one paragraph.
task achievement
While the letter addresses the task prompt, to reach a higher score, ensure all aspects are equally developed. Elaborate on proposed solutions with more specific details.
task achievement
Maintain a consistently formal tone throughout the letter appropriate for addressing a university governor. Avoid colloquial expressions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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