IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Too much money is spent on looking after and repairing old buildings. Some people think we should knock old buildings down and build new modern ones. To what extent do you or disagree?

#money #buildings #people #ones
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think the long-term cost of protection and fixing old
buildings
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 is so high that we should use new
buildings
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 to replace them.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, new
buildings
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 indeed provide
more
Add an article
a more
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 effective way to satisfy housing but old
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buildings
Change noun form
buildings'
building's
show examples
 reservation is
also
Linking Words
 necessary for
individual
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individuals
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 and society. Old
buildings
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 are
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critical
critial
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critical
 to
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traditional
tradtional
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traditional
 and national culture, from which everyone
have
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has
show examples
develop
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developed
show examples
 a sense of self-identity and
build
Wrong verb form
built
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 up confidence that
make
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makes
show examples
 them feel strong to face kinds of obstacles. Old
buildings
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 are carriers that undertake traditional culture and history. So
people
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 can understand the past and how it tortuously developed in the long history through them.
Then
Linking Words
people
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 can understand who they are and will be part of the history
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their nation. As they build up the connection to the past, they will develop a sense of belonging, which becomes
significant
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a significant
show examples
 part of their national identity. If everyone has
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 national identity and
principle
Fix the agreement mistake
principles
show examples
, we will achieve social
cohension
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cohesion
.
However
Linking Words
, it would not be
reasonableto
Correct your spelling
reasonable to
 ask
people
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 to protect old
buildings
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 in a city or town where they can not find enough houses to live in. Reservation of cultural heritage is
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
undoubtely
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 significant, but satisfying
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 basic living standards
such
Linking Words
 as housing, hospital, and school should is always
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 concern for all
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in China, with old
buildings
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 in cities and towns being demolished, more and more skyscrapers were constructed to give a facility to
accomdation
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accommodation
 for working, living, and shopping 30 years ago. Overall, the extent of
protecting
Replace the word
protection
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 the old
buildings
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 should depend on the
Correct your spelling
condition
conditon
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condition
 of
country
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the country
show examples
 or
nation'
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 housing situation. Conserving ancient
buildings
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
undoubtely
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 is a great
Correct your spelling
choice
chioce
Correct your spelling
choice
 to provide an opportunity to strengthen citizens
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sense of national conviction as long as it can ensure the housing is sufficient.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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