You would like to rent a commercial space for a shop you want to start in a newly built shopping complex. You have decided to write to the market authority about it. Write a letter to the market authority. In your letter, inform what type of space you want to rent say what type of shop you are planning to start ask for the availability and cost of the shop

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the possibility of renting a commercial space in your shopping complex. My name is Rupinder Kaur, and I am planning to open a salon for people of all ages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have found that your
center
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centre
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is located in the hub of my city, which would be an ideal place for my shop. I prefer to rent a shop on the first floor of the building.
Moreover
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, I will not only offer services to women but
also
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to children, and men,
such
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as hair cut and
color
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colour
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, wax, and nail
exptension
Correct your spelling
extension
. Since there is no
such
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store
near
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in
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the area,
this
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store would be profitable.
Additionally
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, I would appreciate it if you would provide me with some additional information. What would be the cost to rent a shop, and when will the space be available? I am looking forward to your positive consideration. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur

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task response
For task response: answer all parts with a bit more detail. Say the size of the shop and if you need any special things inside.
task response
For task response: check small word errors like 'nail exptension' and 'hair cut'. These can make your ideas less clear.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your letter is easy to follow, but some links are not natural. Use simple linking words like 'also', 'because', and 'so'.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: keep each paragraph to one clear point. This will make the letter stronger.
task response
For task response: you answered all three parts of the question.
task response
For task response: the tone is polite and right for a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the letter has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your greeting and closing are correct.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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