The government should stop spending money on restoration of old buildings. Instead, it should build more houses and improve roads. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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It is commonly argued that the government's budget should be spent on basic infrastructures
such
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as building more houses and enhancing the condition of
roads
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rather than on restoring traditional architecture in the country. I will discuss both sides with examples in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it is a considerably persuadable statement that improving fundamental infrastructures
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more urgent. First and foremost, from a practical point of view, houses and
roads
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are more concerned directly with the crowd's life.
For example
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, should there be abundant numbers of houses people can live in, they would not be as worried as they really are. Not only that, but governments should take care of the condition of
roads
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, which easily get damaged by vehicles driving on them. What
this
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means is that governments should spend more money on traffic facilities like
roads
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so that they can reduce accident rates
due to
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damaged
roads
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some reasons why we have to keep old
buildings
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to ourselves.
Firstly
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, traditional
buildings
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can be used for many purposes. Not only do the
buildings
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show the history of the region, but they can
also
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make a major contribution to the local economy.
For instance
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, considering the fact that many tourists visit another country to feel their exotic and iconic culture, it cannot be denied that traditional
buildings
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play an important role in a country's tourism.
Furthermore
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, those
buildings
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are symbols that remind people about their ethnic identity. If we were not to take care of those precious treasures any longer, it would definitely be recorded as the hugest mistake we could have ever made.
To conclude
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, even though it sounds appropriate to invest more money in infrastructures than traditional
buildings
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, I somewhat disagree with the statement because I believe that traditional
buildings
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surely are worth being kept for both us and our descendants.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay discusses both sides of the argument and provides relevant examples, but the position of the writer is not clearly stated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with some disorganized paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas needs better organization. Use of cohesive devices can be improved to create better flow and coherence in the essay.
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