Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effects #measures

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While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that building more

sports

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facilities

Use synonyms

is the most effective approach to

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

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residents’

health

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, others argue that

this

Linking Words

has

Verb problem

does

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not have many positive effects on public

health

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and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

other measures. Personally, it seems to me that citizens could gain undeniable advantages from exercising at public

sports

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places but other measures

also

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play an integral role in public

health

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improvement. On the one hand, because prevention is better than cure, constructing

sports

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facilities

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in public places is a useful way to prevent citizens from diseases.

This

Linking Words

makes not only physical but

also

Linking Words

mental

health

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better since those places attract many

people

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to come and train together.

Sports

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facilities

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, especially those located in public spaces will inspire residents, even children and the elderly to exercise.

Besides

Linking Words

exercising physically together, citizens may share common things in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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such

Linking Words

as mutual interests which bring them closer and recover their spirit after long working days.

For example

Linking Words

, after witnessing an upward trend in the number of

people

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participating in

sports

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games in public spaces, Thailand recorded a significant reduction in the number of patients in hospitals to be treated by psychological therapy.

On the other hand

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, the healthcare system and educational methods are making outstanding contributions to protecting public

health

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Firstly

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, modern hospital

facilities

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which the government is taking into account ensure patients’ peace of mind to be cured in case of suffering diseases.

In addition

Linking Words

, periodic

health

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checks organized by public hospitals help

people

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diagnose potential risks of diseases and find helpful treatments in an early manner.

Lastly

Linking Words

, educational methods raise residents’ awareness

Change preposition

show examples

process

Correct article usage

the process

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of disease prevention and

health

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promotion which

enable

Correct subject-verb agreement

enables

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to increase control over their

health

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Therefore

Linking Words

, public

health

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is protected actively by residents’ medical knowledge. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

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certainly improve public

health

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, I do believe that other measures need to be invested to bring more

medically

Change the word

medical

show examples

mental and physical benefits to residents.

Submitted by jannatulferdous2011 on Tue Nov 01 2022

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

322 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own idea (in words, pictures, music of film) in whicever way they wich. There should be no government restrctions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.