Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
some people
believe that building more sports
facilities
is the most effective approach to improve
residents’ Wrong verb form
improving
health
, others argue that this
has
not have many positive effects on public Verb problem
does
health
and they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
require
other measures. Personally, it seems to me that citizens could gain undeniable advantages from exercising at public Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
sports
places but other measures also
play an integral role in public health
improvement. On the one hand, because prevention is better than cure, constructing sports
facilities
in public places is a useful way to prevent citizens from diseases. This
makes not only physical but also
mental health
better since those places attract many people
to come and train together. Sports
facilities
, especially those located in public spaces will inspire residents, even children and the elderly to exercise. Besides
exercising physically together, citizens may share common things in their life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as mutual interests which bring them closer and recover their spirit after long working days. For example
, after witnessing an upward trend in the number of people
participating in sports
games in public spaces, Thailand recorded a significant reduction in the number of patients in hospitals to be treated by psychological therapy. On the other hand
, the healthcare system and educational methods are making outstanding contributions to protecting public health
. Firstly
, modern hospital facilities
which the government is taking into account ensure patients’ peace of mind to be cured in case of suffering diseases. In addition
, periodic health
checks organized by public hospitals help people
diagnose potential risks of diseases and find helpful treatments in an early manner. Lastly
, educational methods raise residents’ awareness in
Change preposition
of
process
of disease prevention and Correct article usage
the process
health
promotion which enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
people
to increase control over their health
. Therefore
, public health
is protected actively by residents’ medical knowledge. In conclusion, while
sports
facilities
certainly improve public health
, I do believe that other measures need to be invested to bring more medically
mental and physical benefits to residents.Change the word
medical
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion