IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, society continues to develop, people's living standards are steadily improving, and society is entering a slow
development
Use synonyms
 stage. The
government
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 included how to use and better allocate
government
Use synonyms
 resources
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the discussion. How to better allocate and use
government
Use synonyms
 resources has become a hot topic of national discussion from the perspective of economy,
education
Use synonyms
 and sustainable
development
Use synonyms
, I think the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest more time and money in
education
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the
development
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 can improve the comprehensive
education
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 of the nationals, which can improve the income
level
Use synonyms
 of the nationals, and
furthermore
Linking Words
, the
education
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 of the citizens will be improved, and
Linking Words
accordingly
Add a comma
,accordingly
show examples
 their cultural quality will be improved, and their ability to solve problems and analyze things will be improved
accordingly
Linking Words
, which will improve the competitiveness of individuals, both domestically and internationally.
Finally
Linking Words
, only if the income
level
Use synonyms
 of a country's citizens increases, they can pay more taxes to feed the
development
Use synonyms
 of the national economy. According to China's seventh census bulletin, the population with
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is about 200 million; the population with high school (including secondary school)
education
Use synonyms
 is about 200 million, the two
item
Change to a plural noun
items
show examples
 together only account for about one-fourth of the total population, 600 million people in China have a monthly income of less than 1,000 RMB, a large number of poor people still objectively exist,
besides
Linking Words
Use synonyms
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
 there are other ways to change their fate? Obviously,
education
Use synonyms
 is the best solution to poverty at present. Some c citizens have said that it is difficult to achieve universal access to
education
Use synonyms
, but there is no more equitable opportunity to help those in poverty than
education
Use synonyms
. Overall, I think investing in
education
Use synonyms
 is the most important thing for a country.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocation of resources
  • socioeconomic development
  • innovation
  • public health
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable practices
  • conservation
  • equality
  • trade
  • emergency preparedness
  • safety nets
  • mitigating
  • critical thinking
  • outbreaks
  • workforce
What to do next:
Look at other essays: