IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #money #poverty #aid #answers
A/There
Correct your spelling
There
 is no doubt that these days nations are increasingly adopting international cooperation as a principle to help eliminate the challenges that disadvantaged
countries
 are facing.
This
 paper will investigate different types of
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
show examples
 that rich
countries
 can provide for poor
countries
 other than financial aid. Eventually, I will argue why it is important for rich
countries
 to diversify the types of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 provided to the deprived
countries
. In terms of some views, it is important to not limit the types of
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
show examples
 provided to the disadvantaged
countries
 to financial aid only. The main reason provided to support
this
 claim is that sometimes poor
countries
 suffer from
government
 failure. To illustrate, in
countries
 where there is a
government
 failure, the
government
 is unable to allocate adequately the resources in its country.
For example
, in Yemen where there is no reliable
government
, people suffer from poverty, high unemployment rates and high inflation rates.
Therefore
, rich
countries
 need to solve the problem of governance, because whatever the amount of money they will provide it will be insufficiently allocated among the different sectors in the society. In
this
 particular case, rich
countries
 can provide guidance for the
government
.
Also
, a number of developing
countries
lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
show examples
 acquiring new technologies that can help them
in improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their living standards,
therefore
 rich
countries
 can help these
countries
such
 as the ones in Africa
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 providing them with new
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 technologies since they rely a lot on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture sector as a source for their food supply. In conclusion, poor
countries
 are in dire need
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 improving their infrastructure, because they don’t have
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
show examples
 schools, hospitals and houses.
Therefore
, rich
countries
 can help these
countries
 in building the capacity of their citizens
as well as
 provide them with technical training on how to use the new technologies that can improve their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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