IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #money #poverty #aid #answers
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A/There
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There
 is no doubt that these days nations are increasingly adopting international cooperation as a principle to help eliminate the challenges that disadvantaged
countries
Use synonyms
 are facing.
This
Linking Words
 paper will investigate different types of
assistances
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assistance
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 that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can provide for poor
countries
Use synonyms
 other than financial aid. Eventually, I will argue why it is important for rich
countries
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 to diversify the types of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 provided to the deprived
countries
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. In terms of some views, it is important to not limit the types of
assistances
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assistance
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 provided to the disadvantaged
countries
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 to financial aid only. The main reason provided to support
this
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 claim is that sometimes poor
countries
Use synonyms
 suffer from
government
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 failure. To illustrate, in
countries
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 where there is a
government
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 failure, the
government
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 is unable to allocate adequately the resources in its country.
For example
Linking Words
, in Yemen where there is no reliable
government
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, people suffer from poverty, high unemployment rates and high inflation rates.
Therefore
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, rich
countries
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 need to solve the problem of governance, because whatever the amount of money they will provide it will be insufficiently allocated among the different sectors in the society. In
this
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 particular case, rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can provide guidance for the
government
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.
Also
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, a number of developing
countries
Use synonyms
lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
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 acquiring new technologies that can help them
in improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 their living standards,
therefore
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 rich
countries
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 can help these
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as the ones in Africa
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 providing them with new
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 technologies since they rely a lot on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agriculture sector as a source for their food supply. In conclusion, poor
countries
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 are in dire need
for
Change preposition
of
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 improving their infrastructure, because they don’t have
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
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 schools, hospitals and houses.
Therefore
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, rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can help these
countries
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 in building the capacity of their citizens
as well as
Linking Words
 provide them with technical training on how to use the new technologies that can improve their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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