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Some believe that people should not continue to work one they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
some may argue that after a specific
age
 , which is called
retirement
, workers should not continue working while
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others share the idea that if they are both willing and qualified there should not be banned from continuing their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.I personally believe that there are pros and cons to both ideas ,
however
, accepting
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 specific
age
 for
retirement
 will bring more benefits than drawbacks. Older
people
's
retirement
 is necessary for
society
 due to numerous reasons ,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 older
people
 can be replaced by youngsters who are more familiar with new technologies
consequently
 they can complete their tasks much
Correct quantifier usage
more accurate
show examples
accurate
Change the adjective
accurately
show examples
 and faster.I would like to share new findings of a research group from the Harvard business school about what benefits can bring to firms by retiring their old staff and replacing them with a young skilled workforce. They have found that young and professional workers not only can use achieve the firm's aims in a shorter period but
also
 can level up companies with the help of their new ideas as well as better performance in understanding
society
's needs.
such
 as finding a gap in the market and creating a gadget for a group of
people
 who were not the company's customers before ,faster than the rival company which has workers with a higher
age
 average. considering what I provided,
retirement
's key plus point is that it can bring job positions to youngsters and more achievement for firms. On the other ,hand the major drawback of
retirement
age
 is that some elderly
people
 after their
retirement
age
 go through a crucial crisis due to financial problems ,especially in countries
such
 as the United State of America which do not provide any pension scheme that can easily lead to income problems for older
people
 after their
retirement
. All in All, as I am fully aware of
retirement
 problems,
society
 levels up by providing more job positions for young and skilled
people
 who can run our
society
further
 by what they bring for firms, still is more convincing for me.so I think its benefits are more than its drawbacks.
Submitted by samarheydari76 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
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