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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else?

#governments #money #education #health #transportation
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These days, governments have gigantic tasks to carry out their goals, and they have included how to use and take advantage of breeding resources in the discussion. How to best give and use government resources has become a hot topic of national debate in Chile, and the consequences of the October 2018 riots, where citizens took to the streets to demand improvements, are still in the air
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 It is true that there are many problems and that the needs are
also
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 too many. Still, as a teacher, the government should invest more money in
education
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.
First,
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the development of
education
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 can improve the comprehensive
education
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level
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 of nationals, enhancing the income
level
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 of residents.
Furthermore
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, it will improve citizens’
education
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level
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 and artistic quality. And your ability to solve problems and analyze things will improve
accordingly
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, improving people’s competitiveness nationally and internationally.
Finally
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, only if the income
level
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 of a country’s citizens increases can they pay more taxes to fuel the development of the national economy. It is essential that society, in general, be educated, considering that having a higher cultural
level
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 improves reading comprehension and, in turn, the ability to communicate. It is
also
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 essential and
knows
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know
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 that living in a more educated country could solve other problems,
such
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 as health, obesity and issues derived from self-diagnosis and the lack of preventive check-ups. Those governments that have been concerned with raising the educational
level
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 of their inhabitants have achieved substantial improvements in the quality of life, and
although
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 some citizens believe that universal access to
education
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 is a demanding and impossible task to accomplish, of course, they do not there is an equal opportunity to help those living in poverty than
education
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.
Submitted by Santino on

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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the task prompt and maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical structure and effective use of transition words to connect ideas. However, some paragraphs could be more coherent and focused on the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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