In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the population in many countries nowadays is ageing at an astounding pace, which imposes financial burdens on national
healthcare
systems.
Therefore
, some suggest that individuals should be responsible for their medical
costs
. Yet by considering equal access to the
healthcare
system for inhabitants from different backgrounds, I disagree with
this
idea.
To begin
with, if
ones
Replace the word
one
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to pay for medical
costs
,
people
from disadvantaged backgrounds will fail to receive treatments from hospitals. Undoubtedly, the
costs
of curing some major diseases,
such
as cancer or heart disease are exorbitant. Yet the poor who have contracted these diseases cannot afford
such
prohibitive
costs
.
For instance
, a whole treatment process for lung cancer would cost over 100 thousand dollars
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it is rather impossible for poor
people
to provide that much money.
As a result
, they will end up giving up receiving medical treatments since hospitals and other medical organisations will refuse to help them. On top of that, elder
people
will
also
find it difficult to sustain their lives if they have to pay for medical
costs
. Most
people
aged over 65 are retired and their incomes are normally less than the salaries they earned when they were still working.
Nevertheless
, we cannot deny that old
people
are prone to health problems and their
costs
of
healthcare
seem to increase with age.
Therefore
, if governments no longer afford medical bills, a large proportion of elders have to spend most of their incomes and savings on treating age-related problems, which will inevitably reduce their spare money and affect their living quality adversely. In conclusion,
This
essay disagrees that individuals should pay their
healthcare
bills for the sake of groups of old
people
and
people
from less well-off backgrounds. In my opinion, receiving
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
curing
Replace the word
cure
show examples
is a basic right for everyone.
Therefore
governments should ensure
people
in their countries are entitled to free
healthcare
.
Submitted by hbljy123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Use real-life examples to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are logically linked throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: