shopping has become a favourite pasttime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shoppings.

#favourite #pasttime #people #shoppings

Nowadays with technology getting

evoluting

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evolution

, so many

things

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havethings

show examples

been created only for attracting people's eye but without functions, at the same time, these interesting stuff

intrige

Correct your spelling

intrigue

young people to buy. But I think they must be encouraged to do other

things

rather than

Fix the agreement mistake

shopping

show examples

shoppings

Correct your spelling

shopping

show examples

First

Correct pronoun usage

allof

show examples

, buying

things

too much can be wasteful.

For example

, I have a 20 years cousin who always

buy

Change the verb form

buys

show examples

a lot of cosmetics, but never

finish

Correct subject-verb agreement

finishes

show examples

one. she even forgot what she

Correct your spelling

buys

buyed

Correct your spelling

bought

show examples

then

buy the same foundation again in 1 month.

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show examples

the end, most of the cosmetics she

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buys

buyed

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bought

show examples

over the due date,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is so waste.

In addition

, shopping

also

means

lost

Wrong verb form

losing

show examples

money

, if a person does not have

properties

Fix the agreement mistake

property

show examples

moreover

, poor at managing

money

and always buy

things

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without

show examples

with out

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without

show examples

check

Wrong verb form

checking

show examples

the budget, he/she would

facing

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face

be facing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

bill which is unaffordable every month.

Then

, if something

emergencies

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emergency

show examples

happened, they cannot deal with it.

Since managing

Change preposition

Managing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

is much

difficult

Correct quantifier usage

more difficult

show examples

than

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

it. so I think it is better for young communities to learn how to manage it. Learning

things

may not

fun

Add a missing verb

be fun

show examples

and get challenging, but if the people who

Correct your spelling

succeed

suceed

Correct your spelling

succeed

learned how to save

money

not

Correct word choice

and not

show examples

only spent on it, they would become more confident themselves.

Submitted by LANPING WU on Wed Nov 02 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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shopping has become a favourite pasttime among young people. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shoppings.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important the ability to read and write. How far do you agree with this suggestion ? How important is it for you to play a musical intrument, in your view.