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Band 2.5

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities
I think there shouldn't be a salary cap for these people, I think they should pay athletes and actors depending on what they generate,
for example
, if a soccer player generates 10 million dollars, he should receive his percentage and his team receive another percentage, in the same
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
show examples
 it seems to me
right
Add an article
a right
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 thing for an actor, if he makes a movie that produces 200 million dollars, he should receive his corresponding percentage, which in
this
 case would be more or less 20 million dollars, maybe
thus
 thought is very capitalist but each one generates their own
money
,
although
 a professional player earns a lot of
money
 and could help many families with that
money
, it depends on the
footballer
 if he uses his
money
 to help those families
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it is
money
 that the same
footballer
 with his own effort achieved
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 one
footballer
 spends his
money
 on
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expensive car no one has the right to claim him because the
footballer
 himself bought it with his own
money
 that he produced
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • essential services
  • long hours
  • stressful
  • well-being
  • development
  • entertain
  • inspire
  • exorbitant salaries
  • unfair
  • talented individuals
  • professions
What to do next:
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