Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

I think there shouldn't be a salary cap for these people, I think they should pay athletes and actors depending on what they generate,

for example

, if a soccer player generates 10 million dollars, he should receive his percentage and his team receive another percentage, in the same

way

Add the comma(s)

,way

show examples

it seems to me

right

Add an article

a right

show examples

thing for an actor, if he makes a movie that produces 200 million dollars, he should receive his corresponding percentage, which in

this

case would be more or less 20 million dollars, maybe

thus

thought is very capitalist but each one generates their own

money

although

a professional player earns a lot of

money

and could help many families with that

money

, it depends on the

footballer

if he uses his

money

to help those families

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it is

money

that the same

footballer

with his own effort achieved

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

for

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

one

footballer

spends his

money

Change the article

show examples

expensive car no one has the right to claim him because the

footballer

himself bought it with his own

money

that he produced

Submitted by ismael.222sr on Wed Nov 02 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

176 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential services
long hours
stressful
well-being
development
entertain
inspire
exorbitant salaries
unfair
talented individuals
professions

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Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone chould follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact in our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

topics: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree

financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. to what extent do you agree or disagree?