IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss
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The issue of the standards
of
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for
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identifying successful individuals is highly significant nowadays. It is been argued that the most successful
people
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 who gain
massive
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a massive
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amount
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amounts
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 of
money
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 or the ones who obtain
knowledge
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 and transfer it to others. It
is appears
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appears
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 that scientists and teachers are the most successful.
This
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essay
essey
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essay
 will
first
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 analyze
money
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success
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. It will
then
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 investigate
knowledge
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success
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.
Although
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 many
people
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 believe that businessmen/women who earn enormous
money
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is
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are
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 successful,
this
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 is not entirely true.
Success
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 could be
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defined
define
difine
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defined
 in
many
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any
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way
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ways
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 and there is no direct link between
money
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 and
achieved
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achieve
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 goals.
Therefore
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, the amount of
money
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 is not a
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scale
scam
scal
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scale
 or standard to define
the
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a
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 person as a successful one because
people
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 could earn
money
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 without working hard on it or even
deserve
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deserving
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 it
..
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.
...
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For example
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, my
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friend
frined
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friend
earn
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earned
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 a lot of
money
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 from his company, but
literally
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,literally
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 he did not work in that company because it was a legacy from his grandfather. It is generally agreed that
knowledge
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success
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as
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is
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 a phenomenal
success
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 because it is not beneficial for the person who
obtain
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obtains
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 the
knowledge
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 it
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also
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is also
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 a huge advantage for
the
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apply
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society. If we took scientists as an example, it will appear that they achieve every standard in
success
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 definition, they have a lot of
knowledge
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 and they use their
knowledge
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 to develop and improve human life.
This
Linking Words
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essay
essey
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essay
first
Linking Words
 looked at
money
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success
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 and how
people
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 could earn
money
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 without being
a
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apply
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successful
ones
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apply
show examples
.
Remove the article
It
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The
Correct your spelling
Then
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 it analyzed
knowledge
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success
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. It is clear that the individuals who contribute the society are the most successful.
Submitted by zainab.nsj on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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