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Band 4

In some countries, workers have to retire when they reach a certain age, such as 65.in other parts of the word, they are encouraged to continue working for as long as they want .Discuss these two options and decide which is the better alternative.

#countries #workers #age #parts #word #two #options #alternative
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A suitable
age
Use synonyms
 to retire has been a controversial issue in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary societies.
Although
Linking Words
 working until individuals
Add the particle
towant
show examples
want
Correct your spelling
won't
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a few advantages in a short time. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I intend to argue that retiring at a certain
age
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as 65, offers great advantages in
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
 run, and several primary justifications associated with
this
Linking Words
 topic will be elaborated. To commence with, allowing workers to choose the
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement means respect for their chosen right.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the governors allow people to work as long as they want, they have two options for their future, they can continue working or be retired.
as a result
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of
Change preposition
apply
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this
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 process may
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to increasing the satisfaction of workers. I agree
this
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 advantage is useful for
persons
Replace the word
people
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, not society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some countries, people quit their work at a certain
age
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 65.
This
Linking Words
 trend has two main merits.
First
Linking Words
, if individuals retire at a certain
age
Use synonyms
, younger people will be occupied.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by increasing the years of hirelings, their efficiency will be dramatically decreased.
For example
Linking Words
, the Useful efficiency index in a country with more youth employees is higher than in another country with elder employees. By way of conclusion, in spite of the fact that deciding about the
age
Use synonyms
 of retirement can be one of the components of human rights, it seems to me, retire at a certain
age
Use synonyms
 comes with several benefits
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for society, and its pros outweigh the cons.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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