Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #home #area #study #work #cities #development

In the modern period, A number of younger are migrated to their

home

in big

citiescities

Correct your spelling

cities cities

to high education or job in

cities

. the trend's

benefits

outweigh the drawbacks.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

should highlight the pros and cons of leaving their homeland.

To begin

with, there are many

benefits

of leaving their

home

in rural

areas

to study Purpose or jobs in

cities

Firstly

, young

people

are leaving because they wanted to live better lifestyles in

cities

as compared to a small

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

In other words

, young

people

to avail all the facilities of the big

city

and wanted to live

Add an article

show examples

better

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

For instance

, I belong to a village,but I leave my

city

because I can live a better lifestyle. Moving

further

, I would like to outline one more fruitful thing about migrating to

Add an article

the

show examples

rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

. young

people

leaving their homes because they get better job opportunities in rural

areas

For example

, In Pakistan, 50 % of younger leave their

home

because of better high salaries in rural

areas

On the other hand

, there are so many

benefits

, but it does not mean that there are no drawbacks to leaving the

home

secondly

, youth effective by homesickness to leave their homeland.

In other words

, young

people

leave their homes,but it is not easy to live alone without their family, so some of the

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

home sickness

Correct your spelling

homesickness

show examples

. To illustrate, one of my relatives who just recently leave his

home

and start living in the

city

, he already starts missing his family.

moreover

, I would like to outline one more negative impact of leaving their homes for jobs. younger

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

also

effective by language barriers because it different languages in every

city

For example

, My cousin leaves his

home

and migrate to Lahore for high studies, but most of the

people

speak Punjabi in Lahore.

Lastly

,youth are leaving their

home

in rural

areas

for jobs or education in

cities

. the

benefits

outweigh the drawbacks.

such

as younger leave their

home

because of better lifestyles and better job opportunities

Submitted by aahil922 on Thu Nov 03 2022

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people are leaving their home in rural area to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All leveld of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what estent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, imprisonment is the most common solution to crime. However, some people believe that better education will be effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: – explain your situation – describe your problems – tell him/her when you think you can move in