New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Novel technological developments have altered the way young

children

make time for themselves. Despite the obvious advantages of

this

trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the disadvantages. On the one hand, one of the benefits of advanced technologies in youngsters’ spare time is that they can discover the world online. To be more specific, they don’t have to move out of their houses to learn about life out there.

For example

, a young child in America can watch a video about Lunar New Year in Vietnam on Facebook.

Moreover

, thanks to

this

online platform, he knows that sticky rice cake is the symbol and the soul of

this

festival. For that reason, he can gain more knowledge about Vietnamese cultural festivals and it is really beneficial for him.

On the other hand

, I believe that the disadvantages are more significant.

Firstly

, spending free time on technology might result in health deterioration for

children

. The reason for

this

is that minors have a tendency to lie in the bed and browse websites all day.

This

will cause diseases

such

as obesity or myopia.

Secondly

children

who make technological advances their priorities tend to lack social skills. Specifically,

children

immerse themselves in their virtual worlds and they don’t have

Change the article

the

show examples

desire to interact with people around them.

For instance

, primary students nowadays love to play Minecraft. What is more, they lock themselves in their rooms to make friends with animated characters. As a consequence, when they meet people in person, they lose the ability to verbally communicate. In conclusion, I would argue that new technological improvements bring more adverse effects than advantages.

Submitted by phamduchien711 on Thu Nov 03 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

advantages
disadvantages
new technologies
children
free time
access
educational resources
information
development
key skills
enhancing
creativity
imagination
opportunity
connect
convenience
flexibility
lack
physical activity
potential
health issues
impact
social
emotional development
exposure
inappropriate content
addiction
dependency

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter include: what you bought what the problem is why you want a refund write atleast 150 words in 20 minutes.

19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at least one problem that may result.

owadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?