IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brand of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #brand #clothes #cars #items #development
Contemporarily, it is quite known that a significant number of
people
 are interested in purchasing designer
wears
Fix the agreement mistake
wear
show examples
 and driving fancy
cars
.
Society
 has
evolutionalised
Correct your spelling
revolutionalised
revolutionised
 to the extent that fashion has become a competition.
This
 essay will consider some of the reasons for
this
, and the impact it has on individuals and
society
 at large.
Firstly
, lots of
people
 have become fashionistas currently, and rush to buy new trends.
People
 are keen to drive the latest model of
cars
.
This
 may be due to the fact that driving luxury
cars
 and possessing other popular items depict your wealth, in that, it shows your current social status.
For example
, owning an
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 13 in
this
 modern time indicates that you are rich.
Secondly
, in my opinion,
people
 always want to be recognised and sometimes want to feel confident
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wherever they are,
hence
, tend to appear attractive with a famous dress and other items
such
 as watches and phones.
Furthermore
,
this
, I believe,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 both positive and negative impacts on individuals and
society
.
People
 would always want to appear lavished,
consequently
, will do all
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of things to ascertain
this
.
This
 could increase the crime rate
such
 as frauding and arm robbery. Younger children could copy
this
 behaviour and in the long run, affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations. In terms of the pros, young adults who see the positive aspects of
this
 situation could strive harder to achieve a
Correct your spelling
higher level
show examples
higher-level
Correct your spelling
higher level
show examples
 of status in
society
.
For instance
, a teenager who
fancy
Change the verb form
fancies
show examples
cars
 and would like to drive one could work or learn hard to be wealthy in future. They would do all kinds of legal jobs to achieve their dreams in the years ahead of them. In conclusion, possessing brands of clothes and other items is not a bad thing, but in my perspective, the means
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 which these things are acquired matters the most. Children look up to these
people
 in our country,
therefore
, citizens should make sure they use the right means to own these luxuries.
Submitted by augesta7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brand Loyalty: Consumer preference for a particular brand that results in continual purchase over time.
  • Status Symbol: An item that signifies one's social or economic status.
  • Prestige: Widespread respect and admiration felt for someone or something on the basis of a perception of their achievements or quality.
  • Quality Assurance: The maintenance of a desired level of quality in a service or product.
  • Innovation: The introduction of new ideas, methods, or products.
  • Marketing Strategy: A business’s plan for reaching prospective consumers and turning them into customers of their products or services.
  • Consumerism: The preoccupation of society with the acquisition of consumer goods.
  • Peer Pressure: Influence from members of one's peer group to behave in a way that is acceptable or similar to them.
  • Advertising Influence: The effect that advertising has on consumer decisions.
  • Materialism: A tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: