In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays

ligalization

Correct your spelling

legalisation

of

alcohol

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promotion is approved in many lands in the world. Personally, I would argue that

this

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has both positive and negative implications. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and try to draw some conclusions. The reason why I disagree with the statement is that some little children and teenagers (9-18 years old) can get some idea or interest to use

alcohol

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.

According to

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general

Correct article usage

a general

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phycology

Correct your spelling

psychology

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study of kids, their brains don’t have

ability

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the ability

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to think critically and filter some information.

For example

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, when my friend Dorj was a secondary school student, he watched

advertisement

Correct article usage

an advertisement

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of

Change preposition

for

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vodka on his TV. Afterwards, he decided to try it.

As a result

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, he

become

Wrong verb form

became

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addicted to

this

Linking Words

drink. Now Dorj always

regret

Change the verb form

regrets

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that he drank that vodka when he was a stupid little kid.

However

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,

legalization

Correct article usage

the legalization

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of advertising

alcohol

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can support people’s businesses which are providing some workplaces and salaries. It is not

secret

Correct article usage

a secret

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that the TV, bloggers, influencers, websites and so on get money by promoting

those kind

Change the determiner

that kind

those kinds

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of drinks.

As a

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result

Add a comma

result,

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they

are become

Change to the active voice

become

have become

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wealthier, which could be one

the

Change preposition

of the

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significant

development

Fix the agreement mistake

developments

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to

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overall

Add an article

the overall

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country

Change noun form

country's

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economy. For instance, my brother has a TV company, which always

do

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

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some advertisements

of

Change preposition

for

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alcohols

Fix the agreement mistake

alcohol

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.

Thus

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, all his employees,

such

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as actors,

actreses

Correct your spelling

actresses

, security guards,

interviewers

Correct word choice

and interviewers

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are financially stable. To draw a conclusion, it is clear to me that

although

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there are advantages to

promote

Wrong verb form

promoting

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alcohol

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, there are

also

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drawbacks.

This

Linking Words

process of

alcohol

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advertisement should continue but with regulations on

time

Correct article usage

the time

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of demonstrating it.