IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Many people consider economic development to be the most important goal.
However
, some people think that other types of
this
 are equally important for the country. I am mainly a supporter of economic improvement. It is true that many of the pressing problems, but the solution to all of them are economic improvement issues. As we mentioned above, many organizations and the community consider economic development to be the most important goal. If I express my opinion, I agree with
this
 notion. I can give examples of several reasons for
this
.
For example
, you work for a state enterprise, and you will certainly receive a salary for your work. The fact is that if your monthly salary is not enough for you, it will lead to a decrease in efficiency working and actually, your passion for the job will fade. It is the simple reason why economic evolution is so important to us.
According to
 other individuals' views, problems in other fields are
also
 relevant.
For example
, ecology is probably true, but ecology and other similar fields are all closely related to economic factors. I will
also
 express my opinion on these views. You need to be treated. At present, almost 90% of the hospitals with the most qualified and favourable conditions for treatment are private clinics.
This
 means that if you want to live a healthy life, you need money. As for another simple and urgent problem,
this
 is the education system. I explain to you why it is natural to ask. We know that the education system in remote areas has decreased significantly, which is the most urgent issue. In conclusion, if we solve the economic issue
first,
we can find solutions to the remaining trouble
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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement that presents your main argument and previews the structure of your essay. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. This creates a smoother reading experience and strengthens the logical structure of your argument.
task achievement
Develop a balanced discussion by exploring both views fully before stating your own opinion. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and enriches your argument.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your position in relation to the prompt. This reinforces your argument and provides closure.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your claims. This makes your argument more persuasive and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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