IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Despite health warnings a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we concerned about this? What solution would you suggest?

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world
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There is no doubt that these days the amount of
smokers
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 is rising significantly. The question is why
this
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 behaviour is concerning us, and what are the suggested actions to contain it? In
this
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 essay, I am going to talk about what problems smoking might cause and what
are
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the suggested solutions to fix these problems. In terms of problems, smoking is the main reason for major health issues. To illustrate, many studies have proved that people who smoke regularly are likely to have lung cancer.
Moreover
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, there is a known connection between
smokers
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 and mood swings which might lead to increasing the crime rate. Another thing that must be considered is that the higher number of smoke in the air, the more polluted the environment will get increasing different health issues not only for
smokers
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,
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 but for everything on earth.
However
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, there are many steps that can be taken to minimize the effects of smoking.
First
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, smoking habits must be prevented
in
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at
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 an early age. Parents must make sure that their children's free time is being used in good social services or sports.
In other words
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,
this
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 will contain
smokers
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 from an early age.
In addition
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, governments have to take an action by lowering cigarette imports and putting a penalty on
smokers
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 in public places. In conclusion, it is evident that there is a dangerous increase in the number of
smokers
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 around the world despite all warnings. individuals in governments must all work together to ensure that steps are taken to prevent
this
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 phenomenon from deteriorating future.
Submitted by No0oDy_9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
  • Nicotine
  • Public health initiative
  • Secondhand smoke
  • Substance abuse
  • Tobacco cessation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Social norms
  • Healthcare burden
  • Preventive measures
What to do next:
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