Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals think that
parents
Use synonyms
must put a
time
Use synonyms
maximum on their
children
Use synonyms
's routine when it comes to their leisure
time
Use synonyms
spent on
TV
Use synonyms
and playing laptop
games
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
make them spend their life doing something useful like reading . I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, watching
TV
Use synonyms
and playing laptop
games
Use synonyms
have an impact on a child's behaviour and family bond. Not setting a rule about using
TV
Use synonyms
or
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
may cause a big issue with
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour so
this
Linking Words
is why I agree with the point of maximum
TV
Use synonyms
watching ,and
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.To make it clear ,
TV
Use synonyms
and computers are technology devices that have a great number of different platforms and some of them should be banned from any young person's device so
this
Linking Words
is
parent's
Correct article usage
the parent's
show examples
responsibility to look after their
children
Use synonyms
's devices and make sure that everything is okay to watch .
Moreover
Linking Words
, Watching television could be bad , especially for young people
due to
Linking Words
the fact that
children
Use synonyms
can be affected easily by anything they see online and
this
Linking Words
will make them act really bad towards their
parents
Use synonyms
. I believe that setting an hour limit for both
TV
Use synonyms
watching and playing video
games
Use synonyms
for birth is absolutely a step forward
this
Linking Words
is because the less
TV
Use synonyms
watching ,and
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
the more leisure
time
Use synonyms
so
this
Linking Words
will lead to spending more hours with family and relatives . The reason why I agree with the idea that
parents
Use synonyms
should encourage their
children
Use synonyms
to read more is because reading is considered food to your mind .
For instance
Linking Words
, there are a great number of research that confirm the fact that reading will make
children
Use synonyms
ten times smarter
as well as
Linking Words
wiser . In conclusion ,
parents
Use synonyms
have all the right to do whatever they want because they know which is good for their
children
Use synonyms
's future so reading and setting hours
time
Use synonyms
for
TV
Use synonyms
and
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are an amazing idea in my opinion

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Try to clarify your points with clearer transitions and links. For example, explicitly connecting the negative effects of excessive screen time to the need for parental limits can enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains a strong opinion and the introduction outlines the main points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: