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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #study #countries #face
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Some people argue that studying abroad benefits
students
 in different aspects. Some argue that children will struggle to live alone in foreign
countries
.
This
 essay will examine both perspectives before expressing my personal opinion. On the one hand, there are several advantages of studying in different
countries
 for children. First of all, children tend to be more independent when living far away from their family which is a good opportunity for them to build their self-discipline.
In addition
, those who study and live abroad, have more chances to meet and learn about the culture, technologies and development of other
countries
, and interact with others from different
countries
 around the world. In the end, they can come back to their home
countries
 to contribute to its development.
On the other hand
,
students
 might struggle with several issues when studying in foreign
countries
.
For instance
, without support and supervision from their family, they might be easy to neglect
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 in bad habits
such
 as drug or gambling addiction. It is a fact that there are many overseas
students
 who engage in gambling and
therefore
 stop studying and
experience
 serious mental issues that they might not overcome. In my opinion, studying abroad is a valuable opportunity for any student so that they can enrich not only
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
 but
also
 soft skills and essential life
experience
. Both family and student need to be aware of all the different aspects and circumstances of studying abroad, what they want to achieve, what should they do and how can they do are all the questions they need to clear before going abroad. In conclusion, the benefits of studying abroad not only enrich knowledge for
students
 but
also
 enhance their life
experience
, and it
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the challenges . Proper preparation, guidance and support from family could help
students
 have a good
experience
 of studying abroad which is beneficial for their future.
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to illustrate the points you are making. This can make your argument more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement and use of articles, to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument before providing your opinion.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and the benefits of studying abroad while acknowledging the challenges.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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