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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #delvelopment
In these recent years,
smartphones
 have become an essential electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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 for everyone. Some people think that children spend a large portion of their time in it and come to discuss what does attract them. In
this
 essay, I will explore the reasons for
this
 situation and its
further
 development.
Firstly
, mobile phone connects to the internet while social media come along
itwith
Correct your spelling
with
. Some children spend time using it by studying, reading or even socialising. When it comes to studying,
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
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 phone provides a more efficient way
Fix the infinitive
to
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research in order to achieve information as opposed to searching via actual books. As for socialising, nowadays social media is a route to connect people regardless of the distance. It
also
 leads to following up
the
Change preposition
on the
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 new trend. So, they spend hours on their
smartphones
 due to most of their entertainment and needs are contained within.   As for their future growth, if they spend most of the hours every day, it would be a negative development, especially for their eyes. The eyes on the monitor with the blue rays may affect their eyesight. Blue rays could bring harm and lead to vision damage.
Also
, faulty body posture while playing the smartphone tend to have neck discomfort and cause muscle soreness around the neck and shoulder. In the end, their physical health could be harmed if high-intensity
of
Change preposition
in
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 smartphone consumption. In conclusion, some children give
smartphones
 for hours daily to fulfil their curiosity in learning and
also
 in socialising with friends.
On the other hand
, in my opinion,
smartphones
 would be harmful to their future if consuming too much time.
Submitted by yeejing2009 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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