In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world, there are various types of jobs available for people depending on their requirements and needs. The trend that teenagers pursue part-time employment is gaining popularity in many nations. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will delve into the situation in my homeland, and present the benefits as well as the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
practice.
To begin
Linking Words
with, some young adults in my nation are adapting relatively quickly to
this
Linking Words
development mainly for two reasons. The
first
Linking Words
one is the high cost of tertiary education which becomes quite a heavy burden for a number of families with poor incomes. By doing part-time jobs, they partially share the financial burden with their parents.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are willing to earn work-life experience at an early age
instead
Linking Words
of solely knowledge from schools or colleges, through which they might be able to have a clearer idea of their desire and future career.
Linking Words
Then
Correct your spelling
When
show examples
it comes to advantages, there are a few to
be note
Change the verb form
be noted
show examples
. Juveniles can profit from the financial, social, and personality-developing aspects of part-time employment.
For instance
Linking Words
, it helps them cover day-to-day expenses and instil good habits of discipline and time management into teenagers because creating a balance between work and study is crucial in order to perform both productively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young people can improve their social skills and broaden contacts with diverse backgrounds, supporting their professional life in the future.
However
Linking Words
, some downsides should
also
Linking Words
be acknowledged. Those are detrimental factors to their health and influence their social life and study outcome.
For example
Linking Words
, young students who frequently pursue part-time jobs may experience stress to a certain level, resulting in the development of health issues
such
Linking Words
as sleep troubles or reduction of concentration.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they may not have efficient time for their family, friends and hobbies, and more importantly, those disadvantages will affect drastically their study outcomes owing to absenteeism and bad marks in exams. In conclusion, the trend of part-time employment is growing relatively fast in my homeland because of the high intuition fee and financial burden of the family.
This
Linking Words
practice is beneficial with regard to the development of good discipline and time management habits and the creation of better social skills and contacts for their future career.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the drawbacks
also
Linking Words
need to be noted due to their impacts on teenagers’ health, social life and academic results.
Submitted by phamthanhquy93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: