In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

In the modern world, there are various types of jobs available for people depending on their requirements and needs. The trend that teenagers pursue part-time employment is gaining popularity in many nations. In
this
essay, I will delve into the situation in my homeland, and present the benefits as well as the disadvantages of
this
practice.
To begin
with, some young adults in my nation are adapting relatively quickly to
this
development mainly for two reasons. The
first
one is the high cost of tertiary education which becomes quite a heavy burden for a number of families with poor incomes. By doing part-time jobs, they partially share the financial burden with their parents.
Additionally
, they are willing to earn work-life experience at an early age
instead
of solely knowledge from schools or colleges, through which they might be able to have a clearer idea of their desire and future career.
Then
Correct your spelling
When
show examples
it comes to advantages, there are a few to
be note
Change the verb form
be noted
show examples
. Juveniles can profit from the financial, social, and personality-developing aspects of part-time employment.
For instance
, it helps them cover day-to-day expenses and instil good habits of discipline and time management into teenagers because creating a balance between work and study is crucial in order to perform both productively.
Moreover
, young people can improve their social skills and broaden contacts with diverse backgrounds, supporting their professional life in the future.
However
, some downsides should
also
be acknowledged. Those are detrimental factors to their health and influence their social life and study outcome.
For example
, young students who frequently pursue part-time jobs may experience stress to a certain level, resulting in the development of health issues
such
as sleep troubles or reduction of concentration.
Consequently
, they may not have efficient time for their family, friends and hobbies, and more importantly, those disadvantages will affect drastically their study outcomes owing to absenteeism and bad marks in exams. In conclusion, the trend of part-time employment is growing relatively fast in my homeland because of the high intuition fee and financial burden of the family.
This
practice is beneficial with regard to the development of good discipline and time management habits and the creation of better social skills and contacts for their future career.
Nevertheless
, the drawbacks
also
need to be noted due to their impacts on teenagers’ health, social life and academic results.
Submitted by phamthanhquy93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!