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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
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In
this
 contemporary era, it has been suggested that globalization has opened the door to international
business
.
Apart from
this
, Similar goods and
products
 are available all over the
world
 via e-commerce websites and offline markets. A great number of inhabitants think that international trade has a positive impact on
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 economy,
while
 others say
this
 can cause negative effects. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views &
give
Correct word choice
and give
show examples
 a relevant example regarding the present situation. On the one hand, there are various factors why some people consider international
business
has
Wrong verb form
to have
show examples
 a positive impact on economic growth. First of all, international trade has increased rapidly in the
last
 two decades. To exemplify the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Big brands like HP, Dell and Bata have their presence across the globe.
In addition
 to
this
,
due to
 globalization, it has become convenient for buyers to buy
products
 from international brands in their own country.
Thus
,
this
 type of worldwide
business
 helps customers to know about global
products
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, there is no diversity in designs. To make an example, a recent study has shown that about 70% of customer does not find any unique design when
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they wants to buy some
products
 online.
Additionally
, countries lack the authenticity of their local
products
 as they are available on e-commerce like Amazon which allows sellers to sell
products
 internationally.
Therefore
, it becomes a great barrier to international
business
.
To conclude
, it seems to me that there are many benefits which beat the negative aspect of having international brands in all our the
world
. Needless to say , if people like to use a particular brand they can easily find the same all our the
world
, even if they are not in their own country
Submitted by sharifsujon14 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly introduce and summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Fully address both sides of the argument and ensure the examples are directly relevant to the points made.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a more logical structure for the essay, with clear and precise transitions between ideas.
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