Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

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These days, technology has been developing really fast, and most
people
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can use a range of devices that can help them to have good lives;
moreover
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, we have been seeing a large group of offspring who entertain themselves by playing
video
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games
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.
However
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,
video
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games
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have some merits, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, the benefits of
games
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, which are played by computer, are several.
Firstly
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, scientists say
children
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should learn by playing.
In other words
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, when
children
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play learning
games
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,
then
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their knowledge will improve.
For example
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, young generations learn a second language when they play
games
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better than in serious classes.
Secondly
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, most of the parents are employees;
as a result
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, they need
time
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for themselves;
besides
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, these
games
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are the best choice for these
people
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because they have more free
time
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.
For instance
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,
children
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need to play
games
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and their parents do not have any
time
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for them;
therefore
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, they must spend
time
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with these
games
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.
On the other hand
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, digital
games
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have a lot of demerits. it is important that young
people
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who are using these gadgets are obese, so when these
people
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grow up,
then
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they will have various sicks
such
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as heart attack, high blood pressure, and other things.
In addition
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, these
children
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would not have good social behaviour as they do not relate with other populations. To illustrate, most students who spend a lot of
time
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for
video
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games
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are not able to have good relationships with other pupils or teachers.
Furthermore
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, a large figure of young generations play
games
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that are not good for their age;
hence
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, these
children
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will be angry communities in the future.
To sum up
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,
that is
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true
video
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games
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have diverse good points;
although
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, the advantages cannot eclipse the bad points
due to
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the fact that healthy
children
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are the main object of society.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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logical structure
Work on logical structure: Connect ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear, focused point.
relevant specific examples
Expand on examples: Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points, which will make your arguments more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify ideas: Make sure each idea is clearly expressed and easy to follow, avoiding repetitive or ambiguous statements.
introduction conclusion present
Good introduction and conclusion: Both the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and reiterate the main points.
complete response
Complete response: The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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