IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Teenagers face a lot of problems in school and at home.What is the cause of this?

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Youngsters
Use synonyms
 collide
Change preposition
with a
show examples
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 issues in
school
Use synonyms
 and in the house. In my
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss what is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
. Adolescence is a very strange, amusing and somewhat difficult period. All
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have different difficult lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
youngsters
Use synonyms
 live in an orphanage, some live solely without a family and so on. Some
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have family
problems
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 are unemployed and
thus
Linking Words
problems
Use synonyms
 may arise.
However
Linking Words
, because of bad friends, especially nowadays, in many countries crime rates
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 adolescents are higher. I think
this
Linking Words
 problem
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 of bad friends or bad family.
Youngsters
Use synonyms
 must study to enter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University in order to
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 affordable destination and affordable travel in the future and
that is
Linking Words
 why
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have learning
problems
Use synonyms
 and it impacts
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 and
home
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at the present in
schools
Add a comma
,schools
show examples
 there is a need for students from teachers.
Besides
Linking Words
, nowadays,
youngsters
Use synonyms
 have relationship
problems
Use synonyms
 with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 girlfriend or boyfriend
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 affects the
school
Use synonyms
 and the
home
Use synonyms
 and issues arise.
Currently
Add a comma
,Currently
show examples
 many adolescents are very arrogant, rude,
trick
Replace the word
trickery
show examples
, foxy, vicious and uncomprehending and
this
Linking Words
 impacts the
school
Use synonyms
 and the
home
Use synonyms
. Many
parents
Use synonyms
youngsters
Use synonyms
 have bad
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, as
parents
Use synonyms
 should educate well and show
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the
show examples
 right way, but now it is the other way around and
that is
Linking Words
 why
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have a bunch of
problems
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the main reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters
Use synonyms
 to face more issues is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of balancing the burden
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 and at
home
Use synonyms
. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue
parents
Use synonyms
 should have
close
Add an article
a close
show examples
 and understanding
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with their children.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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