It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Taking

risks

can be exciting and dangerous,

although

there are some drawbacks that taking

risks

may cause in our careers and daily

lives

, I believe that its benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Taking

risks

can lead to undesirable outcomes in our

lives

, both in work and in our personal

lives

. Employees, especially those who are in

a high positions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a high position

high positions

show examples

and serve important roles in a company , may lose their job due to making a highly risky decision.

For example

, a market manager who decides to impose advertising campaigns in an area that lacks consuming ability may result in an economic loss for the company.

Therefore

, he or she may find it hard to return to the advertising industry due to their adventurous personality.

Furthermore

, a person who enjoys doing extreme sports or spending money on gambling may lead

unendurable

Change preposition

to unendurable

show examples

outcomes, getting severely injured or suffering bankruptcy.

However

, there are some advantages that taking

risks

can bring.

First

, for people who just start their career, taking

risks

such

as trying tasks that are out of their responsibilities and giving proposals to their boss even though they are not asked for, may help them improve their professional skills swiftly, which can give them an edge in the job market as well.

Also

, it is

also

beneficial when it comes to personal

lives

. Learning new skills, as well as meeting new friends,

for instance

, allows people to make progress in personal development and in social skills. The knowledge they learn from trying new things and talking to new friends can

also

give them insights into life. In conclusion, personally, I believe that people would definitely benefit from taking

risks

both in their professional

lives

and personal

lives

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they take full consideration before making a rush decision.

Submitted by irengezc on Fri Nov 04 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

Sending criminal to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?