Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Globally, entertainment
programmes
are attracting millions of audiences. In the past days people have been engaged in watching live events
, but recently it seems to be various opportunities have been available to access it on television or through gadgets. However
, watching it live in the presence of viewers is more enjoyable than viewing it as a single.
Generally, the arts and artists perform on the stage to get applause for their performance. Those moments
are valuable for them to improve their talents and make it more enjoyable for the audience. So, live performance plays a significant role in artists' performances. For example
, the reviews and comments they receive support a dancer to improve his skills. Moreover
, live programmes
welcome a significant number of audiences who are interested in similar events
which makes them more colourful and palatable. For instance
, the music programme conducted by Michael Jackson contained millions of audience which collected huge profits for the organisers and was enjoyable for the music lovers who gathered to attend the programme. The live events
are probably hard to conduct but the results of it provide more memorable moments
than watching it on the screen.
The availability of gadgets and internet connection favour people to watch global programmes
in their free time in their own space. However
, it seems that the screen moments
are less enjoyable than live visualisation. The programmes
watched through TV screens and mobile phones contain distractions such
as advertisements and signal breaks that affect the mood of the viewer. So it is recommended to enjoy the attractive events
along with
the audience in a live atmosphere.
To conclude
, live events
are part of social gatherings where particular audiences are attending and forming that programme most wonderful and memorable. Although
watching the programmes
on screens is interesting, it will never provide the experience of live moments
.Submitted by devika.mohanan on
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Task Achievement
Introduction is well presented. However, your conclusion could be enhanced by explicitly restating your position on the issue. Furthermore, including a summary of the key points made in your essay would improve your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logically, your content is strong, but there are some cases where the structure of the paragraph could be improved. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, and ensure each sentence that follows is linked and relevant to the main idea of the paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Your vocabulary selection is generally good, but there are instances where more accurate word choices could improve the quality of your writing. For example, replace 'the past days' with 'the past' or 'past era'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatically, contextually correct sentences are necessary to prove full comprehension of the language. Pay attention to proper use of articles and prepositions, and review compound and complex sentence structures for more diversity in writing.
Your opinion
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