IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in some countries children are often told that can achieve anything if they try hhard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

#countries #children #hhard #message
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society, adults tend to push their kids to try hard in order to achieve their goals. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of encouraging children to work hard for their dreams and I will provide some examples.
This
 kind of behaviour has two main positive consequences for youngsters.
To begin
 with, if we motivate them to work hard for something
that is
 valuable for them, they can grow very fast and achieve it.
For instance
, Micheal Jordan in his biography talks about the fundamental role he played as his
first
 coach when he was a teenager, who always pushed him to do more repetitions than others in order to become a champion in basketball.
Secondly
, when parents encourage their sons to overcome a challenge, the confidence
Change preposition
of
show examples
the kid can increase dramatically, by making him more sure about himself.
For example
, my dad used to do
this
 with me, and if today I'm a confident person is thanks to him.
However
,
this
 attitude towards children has an important problem. From my personal experience, I've learned that the role of a parent is always appreciating his kid and may be dangerous for the mental health of children by putting too much pressure on their shoulders. Sometimes an adult can have too many expectations about the kid's results and
this
 can damage his relationship with him. A clear example of
this
 is one of my friends who was very good at soccer, but due to the fact of
Add an article
the
show examples
pressure
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 his dad, he failed in his career as a soccer player. To conclude,
nevertheless
 putting on youngsters too many expectations can have some disadvantages, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 attitude can boost their confidence and help them achieve their goals.
Submitted by tommasobelgrano02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: