In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In many countries, the significance of home ownership is highly appreciated.

This

is because possessing a

house

can bring

owners

a sense of tranquillity and safety. From my perspective,

however

this

phenomenon has detrimental effects on individuals who pursue

this

purpose. Many people think that houses are costly assets nowadays. With prices rising rapidly each year, having

this

real estate can offer

owners

a plentiful financial resource.

Therefore

, they can leverage

this

cash flow to diversify their investment portfolios and attempt to achieve financial freedom later.

This

approach will reduce the potential risk of layoffs, leading them to a state of economic security.

Additionally

, achieving home ownership early can provide a sense of security, allowing

owners

to concentrate on other personal and professional goals without the uncertainties associated with renting.

For example

, people who own a

house

to rent in the central location of Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, can earn more than 15 million VND per month without going to work.

This

rental income can offer a comfortable life in

this

modern city.

Nonetheless

, serious problems can arise when prioritizing

this

target.

Firstly

, the intent to own a

house

requires a significant fortune.

This

means that people with

this

goal need to make long-term loans with high interest rates from financial institutions,

such

as traditional banks or consumer finance companies.

Although

this

strategy can offer borrowers a

house

almost instantly, stress and weariness can emerge when dealing with monthly interest payments, negatively impacting their mental health and well-being.

Furthermore

, their life experience can be narrowed as they cannot comfortably spend on other services,

such

as travel or online courses, to enrich their lives.

For instance

, recently, the number of young individuals suffering from sleep disorders and depression after purchasing a new

house

significantly increased in Vietnam because of great expenses, including living costs and loan payments each month. In conclusion, owning a

house

can help

owners

head towards financial independence because of the high profit of

this

asset and bring them a sensation of peace in their spirits. Having said that, I believe that

this

trend is negative as individuals must experience a feeling of anxiety

due to

the monthly loan payments required to purchase a home, alleviating the quality of life satisfaction.

Submitted by Mads on Thu Nov 07 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all potential negative effects of prioritizing home ownership are fully explored, considering that not all individuals may experience anxiety or financial strain.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a strong logical flow between sentences to even further enhance clarity.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses both reasons for the importance of home ownership and provides a balanced view by discussing its potential negative effects.

coherence cohesion

Clear topic sentences and supporting details help maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the situation in Ho Chi Minh City, strengthens the arguments presented.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

374 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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