IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
During the
last
Linking Words
 thirty years, social media have been rolled out into all the corners of our lives. Some
people
Use synonyms
 state that
this
Linking Words
 deprives us of live communication;
whereas
Linking Words
 others contend that
this
Linking Words
 makes it easier to receive new information. I suppose that the profits certainly outweigh the drawbacks. Let us delve deeper into
this
Linking Words
 topic and have a closer look at the profits and outdraws of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. One of the prime disadvantages is that
people
Use synonyms
 waste much time stuck on their phones and can sometimes miss the real life around them. We tend to check out our e-mails and social media accounts every spare minute
as well as
Linking Words
 scroll the latest news on our devices
instead
Linking Words
 of stopping for a moment and enjoying things in the real world
such
Linking Words
 as feeling the wind blow on our cheeks or watching something
that is
Linking Words
 going on right now next to us. Examples are everywhere you look:
people
Use synonyms
 do
this
Linking Words
 constantly
while
Linking Words
 standing in a line at a shop or waiting in cinemas for a movie. Another disadvantage is that the technology supersedes face-to-face communication with other individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can often see
people
Use synonyms
 sitting together at a coffee shop staring at their devices in their hands
instead
Linking Words
 of talking to each other.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are undoubted advantages of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. It is definitely convenient and helps
people
Use synonyms
 save time when they can instantly receive any information they want to know or talk to literally anyone, be it a video call to their parents or texting with their colleagues.
For example
Linking Words
, we quite often use our phones to get to a certain spot on the map, to do sightseeing or to find an unusual place to visit on the weekends. Another example is that
although
Linking Words
 I am currently living in Vietnam, I can always call my family in Russia. In conclusion, I personally think that the advantages definitely outweigh the drawbacks because I am a techno-optimist and believe that technological progress makes our lives easier and is inevitable for mankind to develop.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be strengthened by providing a brief outline of the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to help the flow of the essay, especially when transitioning between points. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
In your conclusion, reiterate the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce your argument and summarize your position.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, making it easy for the reader to understand your perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: