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Writing Samples
Band 5

People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?

#people #governments
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Most people are experiencing a drop in their physical performance compared to the past which is highly correlated with their current activities as well as their eating behaviour. Fortunately, the government has the capabilities to tackle these issues and
this
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 essay will examine the problems and solutions.
First
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 and foremost, folks nowadays think money is the most crucial thing in life and they are likely to allocate all of their
time
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 to gain more assets from doing freelance on top of their primary job.
For example
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, my aunt runs her own business on weekends and attends a
full
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full-time
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time
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 job during weekdays. As a consequence, she has no
time
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 to exercise and her body
ache
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aches
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 easily.
Second
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, despite the abundance of healthy
food
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 options, today's generation prefers to eat junk
food
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.
This
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 is because they opined that fast
food
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 is more delicious and cheaper than healthy ones.
For instance
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, during lunch
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
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, employees are only given 15 minutes to eat.
As a result
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, they choose
a fast
Remove the article
fast food
a portion of fast food
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food
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 over
more
Change the word
apply
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healthier options due to its effectiveness, regardless of its
harm
Replace the word
harmful
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 effect
to
Change preposition
on
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 their body. Tackling these issues needs support from the authority.
Firstly
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, the government can release a policy to enforced society to visit a gym at a certain period of
time
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 and create more public open spaces for enabling people to have some physical activities with their relatives. On top of that, the central authority could create a system to discourage people from buying fast
food
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 by giving higher taxes.
This
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 way, an urban community will follow the rule and change their habit progressively. In conclusion, the main causes of the decline in society's fitness are their behaviour towards eating clean and earning money.
However
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, there are several strategies that government could offer to address these challenges.
Submitted by aulia.muthia on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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