In some countries, m any more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In modern society, the number of single-person households is increasing. There has been discussion on whether living alone could be considered a positive development.
This
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essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages caused by
this
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phenomenon. Admittedly, living alone brings to mind certain positive points. I strongly believe that they will be able to learn about how to manage money. It is the first step to being an adult to young
people
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by managing their money.
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, the younger generation living alone will be able to save money efficiently and manage their assets well.
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, they possibly feel freedom from their parents’ interference.
On the other hand
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, there is still no denying that choosing to live alone has its own drawbacks. Admittedly, living alone brings to mind certain positive points. First of all, if they are in an emergency, nobody can help them.
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, many senior single-person households were dead by accident
such
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as electric shock or fall because they could not ask for help from anyone. Especially, it is important for elderly
people
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that live
together with
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their families for their safety.
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, in some countries, in many single-person ,households young females are mainly targeted by an unidentified assailant. Unfortunately, many young
people
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could not avoid the accident.
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, many women have a fear of living alone. There is certainly the truth that living alone is dangerous. In conclusion,
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it is true that living alone can give educational benefits. As has been discussed above, the negative points associated with choosing to live alone outweigh its merits. There are many factors which determine if living alone is indeed a positive development.
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,
people
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need to live together for their safety.
Submitted by doeun4652 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has some positive aspects but it lacks coherence and clarity. The logical structure could be improved by organizing your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic but it has a number of issues. You need to organize your ideas more clearly and provide relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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