One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expenctancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern world, an increasing number of
people
live longer than before thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical advancement. As
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
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, there are several prominent merits emerged.
For example
,
people
can now enjoy
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
life
with more quality
time
. The amount of knowledge one can pass to the younger generations increased.
On the contrary
, the cost to
support
old
people
is continuously on the rise and the burden to take care of them became heavier
to
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for
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their children and grandchildren. I would like to discuss the longer
life
expectancy's
Change noun form
expectancy
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advantages and disadvantages and
finally
want to state that I believe its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The
first
merit of longer
life
is that now
people
can take more
time
to spend each stage of their lives.
For example
, compared to decades ago,
people
can enjoy
their
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a
show examples
longer period after their retirement in good health.
As a result
, they can spend more
time
on their hobbies or they can go back to school to restart their studies. Young females now have more flexible
time
to have their babies which in the past was a shorter window. The
second
benefit of living longer is that
people
can pass their knowledge to the younger generation in more abundance. Which is to mean that researchers can spend expanded
time
to devote
on
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to
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their studies and as a consequence, significant academic and scientific developments can be expected.
However
, undoubtedly, there are some serious problems incurred due to
people
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
longer. The most serious problem is the financial pressure on governments and households.
For instance
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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of medical care has been
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
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in correlation to the rise
of
Change preposition
in
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life
expectancy. The
second
and equally serious drawback is the significant burden to those who
support
senior citizens, their children and grandchildren who need to spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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of
time
and energy to take care of the seniors. In conclusion, as discussed above, there are a number of benefits of
people
living longer as well as some drawbacks. Considering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both, I believe the merits outweigh the drawbacks as we can live longer and healthier,
human
Correct word choice
and human
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intelligence can one day be able to overcome the demerits. Already, some devices to
support
senior citizens have appeared,
such
as AI caretakers and robots to
support
old citizens' daily lives.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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