IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that individuals should try to assimilate complete to the country where they live while others fell it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both of these views give your own opinion.

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Today more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are leaving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their national
country
Use synonyms
 to start a new life in
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
. There is a genuine concern that some
people
Use synonyms
 don't forget their native
culture
Use synonyms
. The advocates of
this
Linking Words
 view argue that in order to live well abroad it is necessary to
immers
Correct your spelling
immerse
 yourself in the
country
Use synonyms
 of another society. Others,
however
Linking Words
, disagree and believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should not try and cannot leave their
culture
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, to fastly overcome fast obstacles associated with living in
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to fully
immers
Correct your spelling
immerse
 themselves in that
culture
Use synonyms
. In order to be successful
foreign
Change preposition
in foreign
show examples
 countries, especially for
Correct your spelling
immigrants
immegrsnts
Correct your spelling
immigrants
 it is important to learn
native
Add an article
the native
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
, their own
country
Use synonyms
, languages and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 lifestyle
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
preserve
Change the verb form
preserves
show examples
 the
culture
Use synonyms
gives
Correct word choice
and gives
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 a sense of belonging in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
. That it
is gives
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
satisfaction.
Therefore
Linking Words
 a number of
Correct your spelling
immigrants
immegrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
 that go abroad to work or study,
besides
Linking Words
 starting up
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 lifestyle, certainly
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
miss
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 national foods and nationality.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, every nation
preserve
Change the verb form
preserves
show examples
 its native cultures
this
Linking Words
 is important that
people
Use synonyms
 should not forget
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their nationality and they respect their historical traditions. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are two dominant opinions which have been put forward. But I believe that decision to some
people
Use synonyms
 should not leave their
country
Use synonyms
 and can not consider cultures
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important as other countries and
also
Linking Words
 they leave their
country
Use synonyms
 they should remember
native
Correct pronoun usage
their native
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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